assume the position: To tell someone to get down on all fours (hands and knees) preferably when they are naked. The person who is being told assumes they will be receiving something soon.
For example if I want to do my girlfriend doggie style I will tell her to assume the position.
by Old mr Fickelsworth gots game January 30, 2010
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Assume the Position is what Matt tells me to do when he wants me to suck his dick and take his load -- naked and blindfolded, on my knees, facing his raging boner, with my hands behind my back, mouth open, eager to put my mouth on his 8" cock, so he can hold my head and shove his dick down my throat and fuck my mouth until he has a cumgasm and I swallow his creamy load and say "thank you sir"
Matt always says "Assume the Position" when he wants me to suck his dick!
by USAF Cadet January 13, 2021
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It could be viewed and used sexually... but in reality..

It is a statement that you make right before you make a big assumption. I'm not quite sure on the technicalities of it all but...

Assume (v)
6. To take for granted; suppose

Position (N)
6.A point of view or attitude on a certain question


So you are taking for granted, or supposing, on a point of view or attitude on a given subject.

If you say this around your friends, they will think of the nasty word first, but then you can impress them with your superior vocabulary skills.

This was possibly made popular from HBO's Robert Wuhl Assume the Position. Where he talks about things that history books tend to ignore.
"I'm going to assume the position, right off the bat, that history is pop culture." -Robert Wuhl

"I think it's safe to assume the position, that there was no such thing as a colonial quickie." -Robert Wuhl
by Seth³ November 10, 2008
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An event that occurs when a Collector Drone in the video game Mass Effect 2 is possessed by Harbinger, the main villain of the game. It is one of his constantly repeated one-liners designed to intimidate you and it generally fails in that respect. Can be used to indicate that you have had your mind and body taken over by an alien consciousness.
Billy: Hey Jim, want to go to the cinema?

Jim: No i'm good.

Billy: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL.

Jim: Is something the matter?

Billy: YOUR FORM IS FRAGILE. WE WILL DIRECT THIS ONE PERSONALLY. WE ARE THE HARBINGER OF YOUR ASCENSION. I KNOW YOU FEEL THIS. IF I HAVE TO TEAR YOU APART SHEPARD I WILL. YOU HAVE ATTRACTED THE ATTENTION OF THOSE INFINITELY YOUR GREATER.

Jim: No need to be a bitch about it..

Billy: YOU HAVE FAILED.
by HARBINGEROFYOURDESTRUCTION February 21, 2010
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The act of lying flat on the ground with arms by your sides, when either ordered to do so or as an agreed forfeit in a drinking game.

Originally started in Bristol after a viral video contained original footage of the Jess Neville assumption.
The official call is: "assume the jess neville!" at which point, unless one person has been targeted, everyone must assume the aforementioned position.

Assuming the jess neville can also be used as a punishment in drinking games until all but the winner has assumed the position.
by Mr. Side Poo April 12, 2011
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Medical speak for recently dead.
Bed two should be free soon, the dude with the GSW is busy assuming room temperature.
by ohsu September 10, 2005
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How to trigger anybody and everybody in this world.
Did you just assume my gender?
by The_Guy45 April 5, 2017
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