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Wankers Coffee 

This is a place where people take pictures of people who walk into the store and jerk off. There is a guy there who is gay and does Jerk off to men. They jizz into the cups and whip up the shit so it looks like whipped cream.

One time this chick shoved the coffee up her crotch and is now pregnant with one of them. They're pretty sure it's the gay one.
Man: "Have you tried Wankers Coffee?"
Woman : "Yea I got pregnant from one of them"
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Wakers Coffee 

Wakers Coffee is an E-Commerce driven coffee company that promotes the inspirational slogan "WAKE UP HAPPY!" on their instant, French-roast "Wakers HAPPY Coffee" bags, which also contain twelve superfoods per 8 oz cup of coffee.
Wakers Coffee is smooth, delicious, affordable, and offers free shipping. There's also an option to save fifteen dollars every month with their efficient, customer focused smart ship program.

Coffee Wanker 

The act of ordering a Ridiculously long named coffee normally from a franchise coffe shop such as starbucks.

These people are called coffee wankers.
Jesus Victoria couldnt you have just ordered a large White coffee from starbucks instead of a Grande Skinny Latte with soya milk, twist of lemon and a sprinkle of Cinnamon and shot of vanilla? you dirty coffee wanker.
Coffee Wanker by Moonbizzle III September 25, 2009

'coffee-walkers' 

Retail Employee Slang for:

Those who've just bought their Starbucks or Coffee Bean coffee and have nothing better to do in the mornings or later evenings (usually 10 minutes before store closing) than walk into a retail store and buy nothing but mess up everything.
Nope- not a single sale -- just 'coffee-walkers'.

It's a beautiful beach day today... why are you here?

You came for coffee and intend to buy nothing -- don't you have a barbecue or something to attend?

Really -- it's 7:50pm and we all know that you're just browsing with no intention of buying and i'm not in the mood for cleaning up after you! .... 'you touchie, you buy'.

Coffee Wanker 

A person perpetually searching for 'proper coffee', someone who shuns normal coffee and often enters into conversation about "horrible coffee that doesn't really taste like coffee". Often trendy in looks and generally nice outside of caffeine related conversation.
That twat there looks like a right coffee wanker.
Coffee Wanker by keepittea March 13, 2022