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Penis theory

Penis theory is a catch phrase used when a male person does something, says something, or just behaves in a certain way that is attributable to nearly ALL men. These actions and behaviors are usually pointless, without significance, or increase stress or work and most females would never act this way. This phrase is most often used in a negative aspect by females in response to these frustrating behaviors exhibited by men.
My husband wont stop and ask directions: "Penis Theory".
The toilet seat is up: "penis theory"
Six trips to the grocery store due to lack of a list: "penis theory".
Speeding up and passing someone then slowing down in front of them thereby wasting gas and showing off: "penis theory".
Constantly flipping tv channels: "Penis theory".
Penis theory by Future novelist July 20, 2011
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magic penis theory 

The theory that any bisexual person just hasn't had the right cock yet. Bisexual woman? She must just be curious but actually straight. Bisexual man? He must just be closeted.
"Amanda and Liz seem so perfect for each other! Any idea why they aren't together?"
"Amanda says she doesn't date straight girls."
"But isn't Liz bi?"
"Yeah, but Amanda still subscribes to the magic penis theory."
magic penis theory by briaguya April 20, 2015

magic penis theory 

1.)one penis simultaneously gets off 2 women.
2.) A menage trois.

3.)Having sex with someone then forgeting if you actually had sex.
1.) The magic penis theory. "I shot her in the grassy knoll then I ran away and no one ever found me"

Ego/Penis Size Inverse Proportion Theory 

The theory related to Mark Russell that states "the smaller his penis is, the larger his ego gets."
Mark's penis is 4 inches long when erect, therefore he behaves as if it is double the length and girth.

car / penis theorem 

The relation between car size and penis size. The car / penis theorem denotes the relationship between a vehicle owned by a male and the size of his sexual organ. As the size and overall cost of the vehicle increases, the average penis size of that vehicle's owners decreases in a linear fashion.
For example, according to the car / penis theorem, a man who's car is a 1992 Honda Civic (assuming that it isn't riced up) should have a penis size of approximately 7 inches erect. On the other end of the scale, the average male Lamborghini owner has an erect penis length of about 3 inches.

Theoretical Penis 

Word used to describe something, without making you look like a homo, and people don't assume you know what penis tastes like.

penis can be replaced with dick or any other sex organ.
This cake tastes like theoretical dick

Your momma's lips tasted like theoretical penis
Theoretical Penis by frozennuts2142 November 8, 2010
More from Urban Dictionary

Respectfully 

Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.
Ya mans is wild buns, respectfully. Respectfully he's washed.

After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
Respectfully by john quan the first December 20, 2020
Word of the Day on September 26, 2026

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.
Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."
Word of the Day on September 25, 2026
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.
"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"
crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007
Word of the Day on September 24, 2026
A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.
Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.
Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026
Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo 

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026
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