Skip to main content

Penis theory

Penis theory is a catch phrase used when a male person does something, says something, or just behaves in a certain way that is attributable to nearly ALL men. These actions and behaviors are usually pointless, without significance, or increase stress or work and most females would never act this way. This phrase is most often used in a negative aspect by females in response to these frustrating behaviors exhibited by men.
My husband wont stop and ask directions: "Penis Theory".
The toilet seat is up: "penis theory"
Six trips to the grocery store due to lack of a list: "penis theory".
Speeding up and passing someone then slowing down in front of them thereby wasting gas and showing off: "penis theory".
Constantly flipping tv channels: "Penis theory".
Penis theory mug front
Get the Penis theory mug.
See more merch

magic penis theory 

The theory that any bisexual person just hasn't had the right cock yet. Bisexual woman? She must just be curious but actually straight. Bisexual man? He must just be closeted.
"Amanda and Liz seem so perfect for each other! Any idea why they aren't together?"
"Amanda says she doesn't date straight girls."
"But isn't Liz bi?"
"Yeah, but Amanda still subscribes to the magic penis theory."
magic penis theory by briaguya April 20, 2015

magic penis theory 

1.)one penis simultaneously gets off 2 women.
2.) A menage trois.

3.)Having sex with someone then forgeting if you actually had sex.
1.) The magic penis theory. "I shot her in the grassy knoll then I ran away and no one ever found me"

Ego/Penis Size Inverse Proportion Theory 

The theory related to Mark Russell that states "the smaller his penis is, the larger his ego gets."
Mark's penis is 4 inches long when erect, therefore he behaves as if it is double the length and girth.

car / penis theorem 

The relation between car size and penis size. The car / penis theorem denotes the relationship between a vehicle owned by a male and the size of his sexual organ. As the size and overall cost of the vehicle increases, the average penis size of that vehicle's owners decreases in a linear fashion.
For example, according to the car / penis theorem, a man who's car is a 1992 Honda Civic (assuming that it isn't riced up) should have a penis size of approximately 7 inches erect. On the other end of the scale, the average male Lamborghini owner has an erect penis length of about 3 inches.

Theoretical Penis 

Word used to describe something, without making you look like a homo, and people don't assume you know what penis tastes like.

penis can be replaced with dick or any other sex organ.
This cake tastes like theoretical dick

Your momma's lips tasted like theoretical penis

church hurt 

church hurt is where you experience a degree of distance, pain, or judgement from your church community. Essentially, you are just unable to “find your place”. This is prevalent in the Christian community, but can be extended to other religions.
Now that I am an adult I am beginning to heal from the church hurt that was inflicted on me as a child.
Word of the Day on May 27, 2026