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When you bring a girl home and (1) lose your erection, then (2) ejaculate prematurely
"I got pretty drunk, then took her home and gave her the ol' one-two punch"
by Madison Square Gardens February 24, 2010
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A catastrophic and vile risk one runs when engaging in anal sex with an inexperienced pair of cheeks. Whether urban legend or unfortunate reality, the scene is set when (for the purposes of illustration we shall assume a man and a woman) a dude finally gets his payoff after months of coaxing his girlfriend into letting him ride the hershey highway. He does everything right - the candles, the Barry White, plenty of lube and love... little does he know that individuals unused to getting shot from behind or suffering loose bowels may (... you see where this is going ...) explosively evacuate. One punch is thrown. The dude then looks down at the genital arena, is overcome with a wave of nausea and repulsion, and proceeds to hurl all over his lover's back. Punch two! Cleanup is rarely a simple matter. Maintaining the relationship, even less so.
"Dude, I heard he got treated to the one-two punch last night!"

"Harsh... keep him away."
by Shrapnel December 13, 2004
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A deadly combination of sexual prowess that invloves the combination of two destructive skills. These include the Zombie Mask and the Snowball. Proper use of this technique results in one pissed off bitch. Not only have her eyes have been glued together with semen, but now, to add insult to injury, her nose is broken.
Doctor: What the fuck happened to you, Sara?
Sara: My boyfriend Zombie Masked me and now my eyes are glued shut with semen.
Doctor: Oh shit, lemme finish what he started! *Snowballs her* ONE-TWO PUNCH BITCH!
by Sex em' up! January 02, 2007
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The act of urinating (One) in an asshole (Two) and then punching (Punch) the young lady's stomach so that she "releases" the urine.

No intercourse necessary, it can be done for shits and giggles...but you might want to stage a doggy style hook up just to get the position right.
Mom, John gave me a One Two Punch last night, like the one you used to get from dad.
by Sweet Lady February 26, 2009
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A simple alcoholic cocktail made from roughly 50:50 proportions of carbonated soft drink and cheap cask wine (otherwise known as goon). Typically this is done to mitigate the taste of the wine.

Goes down easy and makes you queasy. Except for fruity lexia, which makes you sexier.
Christ, this goon's rough. Bloody get some of that Sprite or whatever shit the kids are drinking and lets mix up some one-two punch.
by Anis Payne May 22, 2018
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