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ass out of the water

I lie all the time just to get MY ASS OUT OF THE WATER.

took the corn out of the water to soon

A saying that means you screwed up.
Jared you took the corn out of the water to soon when you broke my tv.

pour water out of the ears 

To let out a lot of empty irrelevant talk
The gas bag did nothing but pour water out of the ears throughout the interview.

INSTRUCTIONS - while water is boiling smash the fuck out of your bag of shrimp TOP RAMEN but be careful to not just throw bag on the ground like you would normally do because remember this one is missing your bag of seasoning. Dont want to fuck up your 

HAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA BLUE TEXT OMG OMG OMG BLUE TEXT IM SO FUNNY LOL HAHA BLUE TEXT
INSTRUCTIONS - while water is boiling smash the fuck out of your bag of shrimp TOP RAMEN but be careful to not just throw bag on the ground like you would normally do because remember this one is missing your bag of seasoning. Dont want to fuck up your spread by throwing your noodles all over your cell. Then add blue text