Newstead Wood 

A place where toilet doors are non-existent, let alone locks for them.

Angela: I need to go to the toilet.
Claire: Hopefully someone won't walk in because there aren't any locks...
Angela: No locks?! What is this place?!
Claire: If you're lucky, you'll get a toilet with a door.
Angela: You're kidding.
Claire: Nope.
Angela: I'll hold it... This place is such a Newstead Wood!

Newstead Wood by Believer In Toilet Doors April 14, 2014

Newstead Wood 

Newstead Wood is a school for the very well educated - the 'gifted and talented'. Yes, forced to wear bottle green, yet somehow they occupy the uniform whilst still looking nice - and yes, too many feel the need to dye their hair period red (please stop that) - but most are smart, pretty and will probably be your boss' in the future. Respect for the Newsteadians.

Darrick Wood Chav: Oii, Blad look at da bogey walkin past - shout at her to prove how arddd we are!

Newsteadian: Simplify the square root of 12 over square root of 6.

Darrick Wood Chav: Whahh?

Newsteadian: No, the answer would be the square root of 12 over square root of 6 or fully simplified as a Surd to the square root of 2. Now piss off.

Darrick Wood Chav: How'd she do that? :O

Darrick Wood Chav 2: She goes to Newstead wood.

Newstead Wood by NaomNaomNaomiiii1233 June 11, 2011

Newstead wood 

a virgin megastore

chav 1:Hey look at those buff girls
chav 2:don't bother they're newstead woods

Newstead wood by i hate newstead December 1, 2011

Newstead Wood 

Newstead Wood is the school for the "unique" and "interesting" girls who come from near and far to occupy the school.

Why? We do not know. We simply don't.

No were kidding, with such a beautifly constructed and well maintained building, who wouldnt want to go here. Specially since they added grey bars to the windows creating that stunning "prision effect." That ever school desires to have.

Not to mention the "sexy" green uniforms, with there frumpy jumpers and the, scottish kilt like, summer dresses which everyone is DYING to wear.
Unfortunetly it clashes with just about EVERY OTHER COLOUR ON EARTH!

All the year 9-11s have an unholesum wish to dye their hair ketchup red.

RANDOMER: Oh look! what is that red and green blob approaching in the distance? Will it eat us?

OTHER RANDOMER: No need to alarm its just a newsteadian from Newstead wood, and yes, it might eat us.

Newstead Wood by Children that love your mum May 21, 2010

Newstead wood 

The shittiest grammar school in orpington. The teachers just want u to get good grades and don’t care abt nth else.

The windows literally have locks to stop people jumping out and half the teachers r racist or pedophiles.

The year 7’s think they’re hard, the year 9’s are insufferable and a certain year 13 is the biggest fucking snitch and we all hate her.

The uniform is even worse with it only being alright in 10 and 11 despite the girls determination to get their skirts higher than their Fanny’s and obsession with vapes.

Half the six formers are weird lesbo art kids or Asian stalkers and the rest are olaves rejects who think they’re hard.

But hey, at least we’re not as bad as Darrick wood, just please stop dying your hair bright red. It looks horrible

Darrick kid 1: oi fam what are those red green and black tings innit

Darrick kid 2: they’re from newstead wood innit fam

Darrick kid 1: shit fam better hide the red hair dye and vapes

Newstead wood by Fuck this school xoxo March 3, 2024