A necrophillic is an intelligent person who uses the free enviornmental method of 'recycling'.
They make use of
dead and deceased carcus' to sexually arouse themselves.
There are Pros and Cons of being a necrophillic
Pros:
- Recycle
dead bodies
-
Work with a proven effective method of safe sex (The other person isn't even alive!)
- Get turned on and have sex for FREE
- About
300 years worth of
people to choose from
- Save countless amount of women who are still alive and do not want to have sex
- A chance to make
people who died virgins have the
time of their life!
- You get a free 'Hello my name is <XXX> and I am a Necrophillic' badge when you join the National Necrophilic Nice-guys associaton
- Cannot contract ANY sexually transmitted diseases!
- If you are a quiet person, this is the job/hobby for you!
- Virtually all
dead bodies swallow, spew (if you make them), take anal, and do anything you want them to!
Cons:
- Might get haunted by dead
people (see Silent Hill)
- Not a good alternative if you want to start a family and have a baby
- Might have some trouble putting body parts back together
- Might find '
dud' bodies that turn to
dust when you touch them
- Cannot have sex with a dead body and take it on a date to restaurants. Well, you can, but there is no guarentee your partner will pay the food
bill.
- Cannot guarentee that if you are a heterosexual that you will be able to determine the sex of your dead body
- Hard to find a job and get a decent pay because the taxes are high. For example Grave Digging
tax, Grave opening Tax, Grave lifting and maintenance Tax
"Ooohh, oohh
Jonathon Draldrow (1792-1843), do you like it when I poke your pelvis with my hard genital. Do you like it when I slap my genital all over your empty eye sockets? You love that,
don't `cha. That's right Jonathon, I'm a
professional necrophilic"
