Monkey Shuffle 

A "dance" that amounts to little more than standing in one place, making erratic movements meant to be suggestive, which instead make you look like you are coming in your pants.

If a monkey were convinced to dance, but not taught how to, his movements would be similar to a person performing the monkey shuffle.

Shelly: Is he trying to impress us?
Candy: It looks like he's having sex with an invisible, vertical couch.
Shelly: Can the monkey shuffle really be that physically demanding that he should be sweating?
Candy: I'm expecting my dad to show up and join in.
Shelly: We should stop. I'm beginning to think he's actually... you know, mentally challenged.
Candy: Is that... Drool? Why won't he stop looking at us?
Shelly: Oh my god, Candy, we need to get out of here right now!
Candy: Let me get my purse!
Shelly: LEAVE IT! JUST LEAVE IT BEHIND!

Monkey Shuffle by The Great Pumpkin February 10, 2009

Mad Monkey Shuffle 

Where you are masterbating, and know your going to get caught. So you try to finish off quickly to impress the person catching you.

Mother: I caught little Johnny doing the mad monkey shuffle today.
Father: <raises arms in air> STUD!

Mad Monkey Shuffle by Smee O. McShmee March 13, 2003

Shuffle Monkey 

The person given the arduous task of shuffling the playing cards between turns/games

Take these and do your job shuffle monkey

Shuffle Monkey by R.A.Y November 7, 2011