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Hillarrhoids are painful individuals whose election defeat becomes lodged in their anal canal. In their normal state, they have a shitty obsession with nanny-like control over their peers. (Research suggests that manifests a latent desire “for mamma” or a return to the tenuous safety of the womb.)

They become a disease when swollen or inflamed because they can’t accept Hillary’s defeat. The unqualified term "Hillarrhoid" is often used to refer to the disease or individuals who suffer the disease.

The signs and symptoms of Hillarrhoids depend on the type present. The condition typically presents as awful pains in the ass. Acute cases may result in victims sticking their heads so far up their own asses that they can only regurgitate political talking points from cable news (or in extreme cases, hashtags from social media).
I liked D's wife, but she's got a mild case of the Hillarhoids. She assumed that my wife voted for Hillary because she's a woman. I laughed and told her, "No, my wife and I have a deal: I won't think with my johnson and she won't vote with her va-jay-jay."
by KarmaPlant July 20, 2018
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