Haskin 

A measurement of office rage. The Haskin scale is an exponential scale starting at 0 when you're completely placid and peaks when an office worker reaches 1 Haskin. This is the point at which they storm into their boss's office, slam their letter of resignation on the desk and disappear in a puff of indignation. Named for the first individual to achieve 1.0 on the Haskin scale.

If that idiot calls me again to ask about his helpdesk call, I'm going to have a Haskin.

How's your day going? Pretty good. I'm around .3 of a Haskin today.

Haskin by Brugle May 18, 2008

Dr. David Hawkins 

He is the author of the best–selling book, “Power vs. Force” (published in 25 languages). David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D, conducted a 29-year study that demonstrated that the human body becomes stronger or weaker depending on a person's mental state. He created a scale from 1-1000 that mapped human consciousness.

Child: Mom, How do I get super powers greater than Jesus Christ?

Mother: Son, it’s not possible. No human has ever existed with a consciousness calibration higher than 1000. The archetypes Christ, Buddha, and Krishna, Dr. David Hawkins are between 990-1000 LOC. This state is also the existence of Buddhahood, Christ Consciousness, At-Oneness with the Source Manifest and Unmanifest.

Dr. David Hawkins by IRSAgents August 1, 2022

Hawkin’s Map Of Consciousness 

The map is a scale from 1-1000 LOC with different human behaviours and perceptions about Life and God based on each of the 17 levels of human consciousness and associated energy field matrix. The map of consciousness was developed by Dr David Hawkins via kinesiology (muscle testing).The levels of consciousness go as low as the pits of hell on earth (which is shame, 50 LOC) to heaven on earth AKA enlightenment 600-1000 LOC.

Humans range from 0 to 1000 on earth and angels can go beyond 1000 LOC with GOD the Creator at Infinity. The reason Humans can’t go past 1000 LOC is because the nervous system cannot handle that much power. Jesus Christ & Buddha both were at level 1000 at their death.

Student: How do I become enlightened Doc?
Spiritual Guru: While a lot of people think “enlightenment” is a singular state of mind that you either “have” or do not have, it’s actually much more of a journey from lower to higher states, which can be determined by consciousness calibration muscle testing and the hawkin’s map of consciousness

Hawkin’s Map Of Consciousness by IRSAgents August 1, 2022

hawking a loogie 

hacking a loogie hauking a loogie loogie

When thinking of all the AGW pseudoscience swallowed by the GAC (Global Alarmist Church ... pronounced as G-A-C-K-K-K-K !!! with a gutteral ending as if you have a throat clogged with nasty phlegm and you are "hawking a loogie") you get an overwhelming involuntary reflex to spit on the nearest climatologist).

hawking a loogie by Eppypotamus January 20, 2019

Steven Hawkings soup eater 

A person who eats soup and dribbles it all down their shirt and, despite this, outright refuses to use a straw.

Oh dear, Gary is in 'Steven Hawkings soup eater' mode again, dribbling tomato soup all down his tee shirt.

Steven Hawkings soup eater by Terence Dactyl July 5, 2014

Stephen Hawking Swirl 

An uncommon, yet unfortunate result of a throw during beer pong where the ball will spin around the rim of the cup, then be ejected out of said cup. The physics of this action are puzzling, some thinking that the ball enters a black hole and then reappears, falling out of the cup. Who knows how it works, apart from Stephen? But it sucks majorly when you lose because each shot results in the swirl.

Craig: Yo, now watch this shot

*Throws ball*
*balls spins around inside of cup*
*Ball levitates and is ejected from of cup*

Chris: Oh damnn, you just got owned by the Stephen Hawking Swirl!

Stephen Hawking Swirl by Missing Waldo September 1, 2012

The Hoskins

The morally repugnant, visually deplorable, and physically gruesome act of engaging in sexual intercourse with an extremely robust woman who was most likely the failed genetic offspring of a reproductive scientist's attempt to crossbreed Rosie O'Donnell, an Amazonian Manatee, a Naked Mole Rat, Chris Farley, and a Blobfish. Often, doing "The Hoskins" is caused by ingesting massive amounts of alcohol, poor friendship, and a serious psychological defect which allows the perpetrator to push past the normal threshold where an average person would succumb to violent puking seizures and the complete retraction of the male reproductive organs inside the body (as a turtle does when danger is near).

Additionally, "The Hoskins" may refer to a dance move in which an individual outstretches their arms in a semi-circular fashion (as if trying to give a bear hug), bends their knees, and furiously thrusts their pelvis at a number of different speeds and angles. "The Back Brace" is a popular variation of "The Hoskins" in which the dancer places one hand upon the lower back while making facial expressions that indicate severe pain and discomfort.

Jim: "Hey Don, did you hear about M.J. last weekend? He did 'The Hoskins'!!!"

Don: "That sick fucker. I wouldn't do The Hoskins with someone else's dick and the ability to erase memories!"

Or

Girl 1: "What is that guy doing over there?"

Girl 2: "I think he's doing "The Hoskins" with the back brace variation."

Girl 1: "That is sooo sexy. I wish someone would teach me how to do "The Hoskins"!

The Hoskins by Mr. Will November 10, 2010