The best uncle you will ever have. He has pet sharks that he’ll let you ride, but they must come back in perfect condition (or at least not dead). These past two years have fucked him right in the ass and he looks like he hasn’t slept for three weeks. Don’t make fun of him for it, or he and his squad will beat your ass. He’s the best bastard, no doubt. He loves his coffee darker than the dark itself, because it gives him the perfect rush. He wears a kimono all day and is broke as fuck. He’s super fun to hang with, and if you beat him in a fight, his face is priceless. He’s awesome, and if you go to his house, you’ll beg Mom and Dad to stay forever. Now don’t pull the cat’s tail. If you do, Uncle Grimsley’s gonna beat your ass.
by AnAsshole’sSon May 30, 2018