Fauxthor

Someone, usually a celebrity or politician, who has a story to tell, but isn't smart enough to tell it without the help of a collaborator or ghost writer. Often, a fauxthor neglects to thank his/her collaborator on the acknowledgment page of the very book the collaborator wrote, and that makes him/her an asshat.

For example, Hillary Clinton, so-called 'author' of the bestseller "It Takes A Village," took all the glory that came with the success of that book, but she didn't acknowledge her ghostwriter Barbara Feinman in its pages at all. That makes Clinton a fauxthor (and, by extension, an asshat).

Fauxthor by Pimp My Wry June 25, 2009

fauxthority 

1. An adjudicating person or body that is spuriously invoked in order to win an argument or discussion, especially where no such body actually exists.

2. An air of supreme knowledgeability and pretentiosity, projected by a person who will speak at length and with great opinion, on topics of which he or she actually has only a passing grasp at best.

(In this example, both HMB and DrB are using fauxthoritative arguments, and both are displaying fauxthority.)

HMB: Sylvia Saint's finest asset is her bottom.
DrB: You lie. It's her breasts.
HMB: Surely not. For breasts, q.v. Brianna Banks, Asia Carrera, et al. Theirs are much larger.
DrB: Your argument hinges on the theory that quantity is preferable to quality. In defence of the alternative view, Sylvia Saint is entirely natural, as can be deduced when viewing her in the reclining attitude.
HMB: Be that as it may, her breasts are much smaller, at most 0.94 British Standard Handfuls. By comparison, Asia Carrera weighs in at a hefty 2.09 BSH.
DrB: Yes, but is it not spoken in the Book of Erogenis that "Reckon thee the food in thy bowl the same as thou wouldst reckon the tits on thy concubines: that any more than a mouthful will be wasted?"

(Discussion continues as both speakers get to indulge their vanities in this verbal equivalent of public masturbation.)

fauxthority by HMB August 19, 2006

fauxthority 

A sense of non-existent authority. Typically, an overzealous security guard that believes he/she has some sort of legal authority because he/she is a 'security guard' when in reality, security guards have 0 legal authority or law enforcement duty since they are NOT peace officers.

Security guard: "Hey what are you doing?"
Person: "Taking some photos."
Security Guard: "Do you have an ID on you?"
Person: "Are you a police officer?"
Security Guard: "No but I am a security guard."
Person: "AKA fauxthority and you have no legal authority and no reason to ask to see my ID"
Security Guard: "But I'm a security guard."
Person: "Um sorry no I'm not giving you my ID. Bye. Go beat the power pole off."

fauxthority by starhackt January 16, 2010

Fauxhorn 

A t-shirt fan of the University of Texas at Austin.

Not a real Longhorn.

The fauxhorn got a tattoo after the Longhorns won a game even though he never attended the school.

Fauxhorn by Showie October 11, 2011

fauxwhore

One that dresses promiscuously, is overly flirtatious, and has a slutty outlook upon social interaction, but is ultimately prude.

Bro, shes got a fat ass and a hot rack...its too bad shes a fauxwhore.

fauxwhore by partnersNcrime May 1, 2013

Fauxther 

A male father-like figure with no genetic connection to a child. A fake dad. Someone else's baby mama's husband. A stepfather.

Larry: "Good job Susie...you played a great game! Let's go get some ice cream."
Susie: "Thanks Larry. I love you!"
Mom: "You're so sweet Larry. You're the best fauxther in the world!"

Timmy: "Look what I made you Mike! Happy Fauxther's Day!"
Mike: "Ahhh...thanks Timmy! What a beautiful card! Let's send a picture of it to your real dad in Jersey."

Fauxther by EStang July 11, 2010

fauxthority 

The fake power to enforce rules or give orders.

He used his fauxthority to gain power and was eventually caught.

fauxthority by Angriest Mouse of Schnaasberg April 15, 2022