Fasterd

A combination of the words fat and basterd. Which is similar to "Fitch" witch is a combination of fat and bitch.

"Hey cuz, look at that FASTERD over there ordering 15 orders of french fries, what a fasterd."

by DonMega54 May 16, 2010

Move Faster Pokey!!!!!

The most epic voice crack in LP history. Originated from the voice of LPer ProtonJon, is now a popular meme among the gaming community.

Move faster Pokey!!!!!! FASTER!!! For the love of god faster!!

by pbudp January 15, 2011

Paddle faster, I hear banjos!

A common exclamation when in or around hillbilly infested areas. Doesn't necessarily need to be used when in a canoe; merely a warning to the other non-hillbillies in the vicinity.

It was a bright and sunny day when my father and I decided to go fishing down by the ol' waterhole. I remember that the seagulls looked like delicate little clouds, fluttering in the breeze. We made our way to our canoe and rowed out, fishing rods in hand and a song in our hearts. As we made our way down to the waterhole, we became aware of an eerie silence. The trees around us swayed to a halt. Then, quietly at first but raising in intensity, we heard the twang of a banjo. My father turned to me, his face colorless as he said "Paddle faster, I hear banjos!"

by Survival Guide May 12, 2010

faster than a scalded dog

This idiomatic expression can describe any kind of movement, but is especially linked to running. A scalded dog would be moving as quickly as it was capable of doing, and it would be motivated by pain and fear - that combination makes for some serious speed.

When the bandit saw the police coming, he ran faster than a scalded dog.

by RobertPlanty April 28, 2012

faster than a cat can lick its ass

Ever see a cat lick its ass? Then you know it's pretty damn fast.

When I heard my old man coming home right when I was in the middle of some afternoon delight with my next door neighbor, he gathered up his clothes, rock-hard dick and all, and jumped out the window faster than a cat can lick its ass.

by Goobershanker August 9, 2006

fasterbate

The act of masterbating very quickly as to get it over with to avoid detection

i had to fasterbate because my mom was in the next room

by saylor February 15, 2007

Fastard

The owner of the 3X ETF FAS (Direxion Financials Bull 3X ETF). The term denotes someone who goes "long" FAS, i.e. buys the equity. Tard is common in stock lingo for anyone who has a long position.

You Fastards are doomed(tm) when the bank stocks go through the floor.

by CosmicHemorroid April 25, 2009