Decopatch

The art of decopatching, which consists of ripping up decopatch 99p sheets (76p sheets online, discluding p&p) and decorating objects with said pieces. An activity that causes exhaustion but also brings extreme pleasure and joy to the heart..

'Hi Nic, I have an urge to decopatch today, would you like to join?'
'Okay Vic, however, only on the terms that we Decopatch your knobs..'
'Spiffing!'

Decopatch by Decopatch-r-us February 8, 2010

Depatch 

Depatch (Dee-patch)

A Depatch is an instance in which a company releases a software update for one of their programs which goes awry. Where the normal patch will update or fix software, the Depatch has the opposite effects and more. A Depatch rips a hole in the digital universe, maliciously altering software in a negative way. A Depatch violates software uses on a mental, emotional, and psychological level. Reactions are many and varied, ranging from a stoic patience to uncontrolled weeping and vomiting, or the much more common raging yells and similar temper tantrums. The way in which the company reacts to their own Depatch is also varied. Some will simply admit to the fact that they have brought a travesty upon their users and will immediately set about fixing the problem. Others will often deny there is any issue at all until their entire program crashes due to an error in the in-game mail system. They will then be forced to take the game down for nearly two days in order to fix the issue.

Example 1:

Ben: Hey what do you think of the new patch?

Adam: I HATE IT! I CAN"T LOG INTO THE GAME ANYMORE! IT WAS A FUCKING DEPATCH!(Subsequent rage and cussing)

Example 2:

Adam: Hey what was the name of that Depatch in World of Warcraft? The one where they damaged the game beyond repair?

Ben: Oh, you mean Cataclysm?

Depatch by Mcshiggle August 14, 2011

Decapachav 

A Burberry cap which when placed on a chavs head will send out blades from the inside, thus, if done correctly removing a significant part of the head and therefore ridding us of the vermin that we call "The Chavs".

Chav 1: Aiiiighhhtttt mateee check out this new Decapachav dat I stole

Chav 2: Sick bluuuuuuuuuuuuuddddddddddddddd!!!

Chav 1: Lemee just try it on-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Decapachav by InsomniacDino January 22, 2010

Decopatching 

The art of Decopatch, in present tense.

*ring ring, ring ring*
'Oh, hello Mother, I am currently Decopatching, would it be possible for you to call back later?'
'Ah, ofcourse soon, completely understandable...Decopatch away!'
'Cheers blud.'

Decopatching by Decopatch-r-us February 8, 2010

Decopatched 

The art of Decopatch, in the past tense.

'What, pray, did you do on the yester, Wendell?'
'Pray, I Decopatched until I dropped..'
'Whooooaaaaa man, that's some epic Decopatching going on...!'

Decopatched by Decopatch-r-us February 8, 2010

You've been Decopatched!

The art of spunking on someone and using said spunk as glossy glue for Decopatching.

'Sheila, love, you've been Decopatched! It's all down your back and titties!'
'Ahhh man, I told Jeff to cut that out!

You've been Decopatched! by Decopatch-r-us February 8, 2010

Decopatchee 

An employee of the Decopatch company.

'Mum, I have just received confirmation that I have been successful in becoming a Decopatchee!'
'Ah, well done Son, and what a spiffing Decopatchee you will surely make!'
'Jeez Mum, thanks!'
'Yay, Decopatch!'
'Ditto!'

Decopatchee by Decopatch-r-us February 8, 2010