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Asshands 

n) A condition caused by digging ones hands into feces or by actually sticking one's hands into an ass. (n) A person who has done either of these things.
I got asshands trying to get that cow shit out of my dog's mouth.

Dammit. Asshands is here. Hide the good bathroom soap.
Asshands by Jackpott September 6, 2020

Asshanded 

The past tense description of having your ass handed to you.

Frequently used in spofo, a sports forum on craigslist, or its' evil twisted product of incest step sister: forum 1006
Dude, you just got asshanded, AGAIN.

Well, we asshanded the "Trifecta" yet again today, you can tell when he starts posting more and more.

Why does Inshannityboi keep telling me I'm asshanded, when all I said was hello?
Asshanded by trollertroller December 8, 2011
Hands that are attached to your ass that help you 'back there'. They don't wipe but they do love their peel and eat shrimp!
My ass hands are at the buffet eating peel and eat shrimp.

Damn this shopping is heavy, wish I had a pair of ass hands.
ass hands by Doktor Odd August 13, 2007
When your hands both look and feel like ass. A bizarre peeling condition when the skin on your hands peels off and grow back and the process repeats itself.
I am embarassed by my ass hands, they make it difficult to touch other people.
Ass Hands by Buffdaddy26 March 21, 2009
A symtom resulting from handing out ass all day.
Dude, I've gotta rest seeing as how I have a horrible case of ass hands.
ass hands by Jaggo March 21, 2004
Did you see Elliot not wash his hands after taking a shit?!
Yeah bro!! Total ass hands!!
Ass Hands by RareIsGarbage May 1, 2017