by Steely McBeam June 17, 2008
The armpit of America. A town so miserable that staying here for more than a week is bound to significantly change a person's mood, for the worse. Altoids, people who call Altoona home, are usually the epitome of white trash, and the town is more closely related to a West Virginia mountain town than the rest of Pennsylvania. Once a crucial railroad town (Hitler had planned to bomb the famous Horseshoe Curve if Germany ever attacked America), it has since fallen off into oblivion. People who come here from elsewhere are quick to realize the dismal properties of this forsaken town, and usually cannot wait to leave.
"Hey Joe, want to go to Altoona, PA?"
"No, I'd rather sit here and brand myself with a hot iron. Thanks though."
"No, I'd rather sit here and brand myself with a hot iron. Thanks though."
by Farmer Brown 127 March 25, 2010
"Altoona" means that you are "available," especially when a friend is asking for help. The name "Altoona" is believed to be derived from the Latin "altus," which means "high," which is probably what your friend is.
"Hey if you are in town, I could really use a visit." "I'm Altoona all day tomorrow so you let me know."
by McDickbag Esquire September 9, 2021