read a book

Sleeping. This is derived from the groggy state one is in while reading a book, which sometimes sounds like they are sleeping when they answer the phone.

*Lance calls Seth*
Seth: ...hello
Lance: Man are you about to read a book!?!
Seth: ...yep
Lance: Go back to sleep.

by s1337 September 19, 2009

Whoever's reading this

fuck you

Whoever's reading this is a massive bellend and they eat fucking scrotums

by Small dick Matt October 30, 2019

read for filth

Calling someone a liar.

Damn, she keeps reading him for filth!

He was full of it, I read him for filth.

Read for filth.

by wessort September 23, 2016

Read the Riot Act

This occurs after you make the first date after meeting online through social media. Everything has been going great until you meet in person and then your date “reads the riot act” firmly setting out their terms for how the dating and further relationship should progress.

Phil met Meghan on their first date only to be read the riot act, stating that she did not kiss on the first date, what days of week she was available, how he was to dress when they dated, the types of events she expected him to attend, etc.

by Leap Cruncher December 28, 2021

Summer reading

When your significant other says they are going to do there summer reading and they are actually fucking some other bitch

My boyfriend is doing his summer reading

My girlfriend loves doing summer reading

by FuckingTriggeredAssHoe August 21, 2018

Shirt-reader

An obnoxious person who stands in front of you when you're in a rush and takes forever to read whatever whimsical graphic tee you happen to be wearing that day out loud to you (as if you didn't know what your fucking shirt said).

Neill: I was late to Biology the other day, and to make matters worse, some shirt-reader got in my way and took forever to read my Jesus shirt to me.
Kristy: Which one?
Neill: The one that says BRB.
Kristy: Douche.

by Fenix_451 November 22, 2009

reading Harry Potter

NZ School boy slang for masterbation

Bill's mum caught him "reading Harry Potter", in the shower.

by Jeremy Thomson September 24, 2007