Jesus cant spell 

A fat lard mexican headass that cant spell and shoves shit up uis ass

Me:Yo jesus cant spell , you're a faggot
Jesus cant spell: goddamnit

Jesus cant spell by Asscheecks January 14, 2019

jesus slutty 

dressing in a way that a somewhat sheltered catholic school kid would find extremely provocative, but a normal person would see as tame

the dress code for the dance was casual, so all the girls dressed jesus slutty

jesus slutty by dascholar September 11, 2019

Jesus Faist 

A cultish fake religion created by theatre brats where participants worship Michael Faist.

"Sacrifice that little child over there for our lord and savor Jesus Faist"

Jesus Faist by WhinnieDaPotatoSalad January 18, 2021

Jesus Moment

When an absolute dumbass creates an incredibly bullshit excuse to not do something.

(Not Jesus as in the son of god, but the mexican name Jesus)

Jesus: I can't turn in my work, the site is down!
Person 1: Jesus moment

Jesus Moment by edp4452 January 8, 2022

Jesus Emitter 

Something that emits ultraviolet radiation detectable to the human eye.

It's so dark in here...turn on the Jesus Emitter!

Jesus Emitter by ASsdfaklbs6! December 1, 2010

Jesus Christ on a bicycle 

The using of christ's name, not necessarily in vain, but to exclaim surprise, disbelief, or disgust.
Also used in the excellent film, Ginger Snaps.

'Jesus Christ on a bicycle, Bob! You gave me a fright!'
or
'Jesus Christ on a bicycle! That was soooo gnarly!'

Jesus Christ on a bicycle by CobyPryant March 30, 2007

Jesus Zombie Day 

Easter to us mere mortals. The day he became the living dead

Jaster had a nice Jesus Zombie Day with no shot gun in sight

Jesus Zombie Day by Jaster Mereel May 15, 2007