sphinct-o-second

That split second just as you realise something really bad has/is about to happen, your stomach feels like you're falling off the top of a tall building and your sphincter grips up tighter than a Duck's Arse.

1. I was in the office late at night and thought the place was empty, I was just about to start Rounding up the tadpoles when a cleaner walked in! There was a sphinct-o-second moment while I frantically packed my todger away.

2. Sent a sext message saying "I'll be home in 5, lube yourself up!" and as I hit sent, I saw "Received: mother in law" !

by ADzski March 7, 2019

One second arrest

That moment when you cover your body with soap, then dive head first naked into a school zone

“This morning at the sandy hook elementary school, a fuckhead named muargo gucci toilet did a One second arrest”

by Armedteachers69 February 26, 2020

Sloppy seconds period

Refers to the period in which one may perform any sensual act without being badgered about getting another's sloppy seconds. This period differs from person to person, to group of people.

Guy 1: Dude, I just made out with Angela
Guy2: Aww man, you just got all of Josh's sloppy seconds
Guy1: No mufuckah, the Sloppy seconds period has been up. they broke up a month and a half ago.

by magicman9516 October 20, 2011

Second First Kiss

When someone puts their lips on your private for the first time

Danone: have you had your first kiss yet?
Ian: yeah, and I've had my second first kiss too *wink*
Danone: *gags*

by Erinmnoah May 27, 2016

Second Hand Magic

The act of getting AIDS as a result of having sexual intercourse with an individual who recently was a sexual partner of Magic Johnson

Person 1: “Yo man, I got second hand magic yesterday!”
Person 2: “ Oh, did you buy a used magic kit?”
Person 1: “ No, I had sex with a girl who recently fucked Magic Johnson!”

by Randy Mead November 18, 2019

5 second rule

1. If an article of food is dropped, the 5 second rule states that it is still elligible for eating within a 5 second interval.

2. A rule governing the amount of time it takes for George W Bush to speak before he mispronounces a word.

We will not stand around to witness the creation of NUQULAR weapons. Oops, five second rule.

by bob_the_russian November 5, 2003

Second-Hand Drunkness

a state of intoxication where the said "drunk" person did not have a sip of alcohol but seems to be in an intoxicated state. Mostly prevalent in the Irish or Celtic people because of their inherited ability to absorb alcohol from the air, with a high enough concentration.

At the wedding, young Patrick and Bridget seemed to be drunk even though they could not possibly be. Aunt Eileen nudged her husband and said "must be the second-hand drunkness."

by Bridget Boyle October 14, 2007