Turtle Parade

A non trivial sized line of men at Bathroom or Portable toilet that seemingly all need to poop urgently

I was at the football game and there was a massive Turtle Parade because there was only 1 porta jon.

by Mr. Pix September 21, 2018

Turtle Belt

An elastic band (or other improvised object) used to close off the end of an uncircumcised penis at the point of ejaculation in order to quickly and cleanly move from your location.

I had to grab a turtle belt and run to the bathroom so I didn't stain the new couch.

by Redh00d4 May 3, 2018

Turtle Head

When you get home after a long day needing to take a gargantuan shit and so you run to the toilet and knock over your kid in the hallway and slam the bathroom door shut and wait for that sweet sweet moment when you gloriously defecate all over the bathroom but instead end up straining your asscheeks for an hour only for a tiny ass piece of shit to slightly poke its way out of your asshole. That piece of shit is called a turtle head and know you have to choose to behead your turtle either by straining your asscheeks closed or pulling the piece of shit out with your fingers and now your hand smells of ass and your kid is crying in the hallway and you still have to make dinner and oh fuck why am I still alive

Mom: Jimothy, alight from your dwelling in order to receive nutrition handcrafted by your own mother.
Jimothy, tearfully: Mother, how I wish to fulfill that which you have requested of me! But alas, I am unable to, for I am stuck in the predicament of having to deal with a Turtle Head!
Mother, wailing: Jimothy, my dear beloved son! How I weep for you! How I mourn! That you should have to deal with such an ordeal! I am so deeply sorry, but alas, am unable to help.

by BaddSpelur October 31, 2019

Turtles Peaking

When You Go to Take a Poop, But then It hangs There, You try to take a Deep breath and Squeeze it out, But it just goes Right back up your Butt hole.

I had to take a Dump, I Tried to make it quick, But it stayed then it went back in. - Sounds to me you have Turtle's Peaking.

Turtles Peaking a Terd hanging out that goes back inside your Anus.

by SetiCowboy July 2, 2021

Turtle porn

A guy bad at sex

Mickey: " how is Tyler's dick game?"

Heaven:"It's like turtle porn, slow and boring"

by Grumpup March 23, 2017

Turtle Todd

A professional driver,usually much slower than the others. Reaching a height of of 5 foot, most sit on a phone book or booster chair while driving. Known for leaving some of their loads on highways & interstates as a way to find there way back. Very competitive although always loses. Always wanting to be employee of the month but only ever achieving runner-up.

Look at Turtle Todd he thinks he's going to win

by Hjm1979 June 24, 2021

turtle dust

When you go to the restroom and you feel like you have to let one go and it feels like a turtle head sticking out and its really just dust.

Man I went to bathroom thinking I was going to have a good one and it turned out to be turtle dust.

by Bill Joe77 January 16, 2017