Turtle Tears

An insincere display of sorrowful emotion.

The little girl shed turtle tears as she hoped her angry mother would not scold her for jumping on the bed.

by Meowmix789 October 24, 2017

Turtle Burglar

A person who has to poop so badly that others notice. Like a turtle head is about to emerge.

"Why is that old lady fidgeting around like that?"
"She's doing the poop dance because she's a turtle burglar"

by Rock Tomskin & Notorious GREG August 2, 2012

Turtle Belt

An elastic band (or other improvised object) used to close off the end of an uncircumcised penis at the point of ejaculation in order to quickly and cleanly move from your location.

I had to grab a turtle belt and run to the bathroom so I didn't stain the new couch.

by Redh00d4 May 3, 2018

verbal turtle

Man lays on his back while the woman sits on his upper chest while she blows him forming the shape of a turtle.

Man we did the verbal turtle last night

by wormy139 February 26, 2010

Turtles Peaking

When You Go to Take a Poop, But then It hangs There, You try to take a Deep breath and Squeeze it out, But it just goes Right back up your Butt hole.

I had to take a Dump, I Tried to make it quick, But it stayed then it went back in. - Sounds to me you have Turtle's Peaking.

Turtles Peaking a Terd hanging out that goes back inside your Anus.

by SetiCowboy July 2, 2021

Turtle Parade

A non trivial sized line of men at Bathroom or Portable toilet that seemingly all need to poop urgently

I was at the football game and there was a massive Turtle Parade because there was only 1 porta jon.

by Mr. Pix September 21, 2018

Turtle-bite

When a man is peeing and he pinches his balls in his belt buckle but cannot remove them straight away because if he does he will end up missin the bowl and pissin everywhere. He just has to endure the pain until his piss is over.

I just got a heavy turtle-bite over behind those bushes. Ow, fuck!

by Crackpotslingshot May 14, 2019