Cut The Turtle

“Cut The Turtle” (verb): To get over one’s hangover, by drinking a gin and tonic. Other drinks can also be consumed whilst cutting the turtle. Generally or more often so, spirits.

“Mate, I’m f*cking hungover!”

“You need a G&T mate, you need to Cut The Turtle”

by Larry2017 July 25, 2018

feared the turtle

Fear the Turtle is what a woman experiences when she realizes halfway through vaginal intercourse that her bowels are full and her enjoyment of the sex has been superseded by her fear of crapping the bed.

Sue had to ask Drew to stop fucking her because she feared the turtle. She got on the can for a minute, then hopped back in bed, and no longer feared the turtle.

by Wangus Maximuz May 14, 2011

Homosexual Turtle

A college-aged, Caucasian male individual with an overtly long neck and deep-throating skills made for sucking dick. He has yet to come out of his shell completely.

Taylor: You should go out with Blake M...
Me: I can’t, you know he’s a Homosexual Turtle!

by Trumpette.xxx May 6, 2021

piss turtle

Surprise moment when a guy is pissing ( after having to hold it for an extremely long time ) and at the height of the stream he has an urge to shit. The brown turtle head wants out. Now begins the coordinated effort in continuing to piss while keeping from shitting yourself.

Dude I was at a wedding and after about the fifth toast I was about to piss myself. I got to the bathroom and out of now where I had a piss turtle situation on my hands.

by Irish don June 26, 2014

Turtle Parade

A non trivial sized line of men at Bathroom or Portable toilet that seemingly all need to poop urgently

I was at the football game and there was a massive Turtle Parade because there was only 1 porta jon.

by Mr. Pix September 21, 2018

Curb turtle

After a night over indulging that requires the excavation of your stomach contents while leaning over the curb (or onto the curb) and moving your head and neck in a turtle like motion to avoid vomitting on your own shoes.

Noun- curb turtle
Verb - curb turtled

1. After a number of 6 for 1 beers and hurricanes I curb turtled on the walk home.

2. After a night in Bourbon Street there was curb turtle everywhere.

by Wayoutbaby October 26, 2014

Turtle Burglar

A person who has to poop so badly that others notice. Like a turtle head is about to emerge.

"Why is that old lady fidgeting around like that?"
"She's doing the poop dance because she's a turtle burglar"

by Rock Tomskin & Notorious GREG August 2, 2012