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Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano?

A sexual copypasta about Ahsoka Tano from Star Wars, where Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Luke Skywalker about Ahsoka in sexual descriptions.
Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems.

Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal.

We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
by jordypresto0418 February 6, 2021
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i like you so much I might actually tell you

Engineering Calculus:
As the tangent to the curve approaches infinity:
Variable Constraints Include:

Time
Location
Romantic Implication
Humourous Viability
Sexual Implication
Newton's Law

Results can be extrapolated by isolating one variable.
Ex.
Girl: I don't like ditzes.
Boy: I don't like ditzes either.
Girl: I like cheese
Boy: Mee too.
Girl: I like you so much I might actually tell you
x = romantic implication

Ex 2:

Boy: I like funny sarcastic bobble heads
Girl: I'm a funny sarcastic bobble head
Boy: I like you so much I might actually tell you
Girl: Ew you're creepy.
x = humourous viability + sexual implications

Ex 3:
Girl: Hi stranger, pay attention to me.
Boy: You're pretty.
Girl: I like you so much I might actually tell you.
Boy: Your positive?
x= newton's law, time, location
by JuneBugette December 7, 2010
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A ptsd trigger for those who are very cultured.
"Oh no, I just wound you. Don’t tell me you’re broken. So not fair. I’ve taken extra good care of you and everything..." Jane said
"Never say that again!" James shouted with fear in his eyes.
by anonymous January 9, 2021
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Yea let me tell you

When your joking about a answer to a question but not actually serious about the answer
Yea let me tell you!
by Blackboyjb August 27, 2022
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you can’t tell me what to do

si stop taking you can’t tell me what to do so shut up
by landry January 9, 2021
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Let the rock tell you in chinese

The rock will tell you in chinese, in fact john cena will too but i think the rock says it better
the rock - "LET THE ROCK TELL YOU IN CHINESE"
commentators - "CHINESE??"
the rock - "CHING CHONG BING BONG HIT STOE COL AIYYY"
by John durant December 25, 2023
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