jesus

A short bald African-American guy that hides in the closet and watches me and my wife doing it. We like to pretend he's not there, but it's kinda hard 'cause you can hear him muttering stuff under his breath (while probably touching himself).
Wife- You wanna make love,
Husband- No, I think Jesus will be watching us.
W- Jesus is always watching us. He is everywhere. The Bible says so.
H- Not that Jesus, the one in our closet.
by J-to the Dizzle January 19, 2019
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jesus

Jesus is God. His name is Kim SeokJin. Only jesus is lejindary.
I worship only Jesus - "IM THE ONE I SHOULD LUB IN THIS WORLD"
by ibelieveyourgalaxy February 17, 2019
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jesus

some dude who might have lived a long time ago. he tried to spread peace but ignorant people decided the need to make him god so they don't have to come to terms with their own mortality.
Guy 1:When I die ill go to heaven! cuz of jesus.
Rational human: Your an idiot.
by saintdisgustus November 04, 2007
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jesus

KK he's the awsomest koolest dude there was and IS. Died on the cross 4 everyone, to forgive ur sins - not that u can sin whenever u want. He loves evryone who has good in there heart.
If u don't u can still become a Christian by praying and asking 4 forgiveness and meaning it. And reading the Bible - it's ALL
true and it's Gods word to us. Seriously go 4 it, being a Christian is awsome and will change ur life 4 better. : )
Dudette- "whos Jesus"?
Dude- "a righteouss dude,he loves u so much"
Dudette- ooooo
by Jesus-is-dah-man September 19, 2006
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jesus

1. The totally awesome guy who is going to send you to hell if you don't belive in him and accept him into your heart
Guy 1: Hey guess what
Guy 2: What
Guy 1: I just accepted jesus into my heart
Guy 2: Sweet, now you'll go to heaven like the rest of us christians
by Andy P. March 07, 2006
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jesus

by BoredGuy101 March 16, 2009
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jesus

someone who can't drive
by Yabity October 23, 2010
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