Tear Jerker

A man who, while under the influence of alcohol or other mind-altering substances, masturbates and uses his tears as lubricant. A tear jerker may also be defined as a date or encounter with a woman which results in the afore mentioned definition.

This idea is referenced, but not directly named, in the popular film, "Waiting...".
A dialogue from the movie, "Waiting...".
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Dean: Calvin, what happens with every girl you're interested in? Nothing! You take them out, you pay for everything - you never make a move!

Monty: And then you go home... alone... to masturbate... while you cry... using your own tears as lubricant.

Calvin: Ok that was once... and I was drunk... and it was Valentine's Day.
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Calvin is a total tear jerker.
by Joey X September 06, 2006
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tear jerker

Friend A: "I saw this porno the other day where Jenna Jameson dies in the end"

Friend B: "It must have been a real tear jerker"
by johnniewalker2284 May 15, 2011
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Tear Jerker

Someone who saves their own tears for the sole purpose of using them as lubrication for masturbation. (Not to be confused with someone who weeps while masturbating)
I've been saving my liquid misery in a jar for the past two months, just so I could have a Tear Jerker.
by dcb1984 July 22, 2010
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tear jerker

When a girl is giving head and stops before you're done, so you shoot in her, making her start crying.
She was going down on me, but didn't want to finish the job, so I gave her a tear jerker.
by PinkSheetTrrader March 09, 2007
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Tear Jerker

A man who, while under the influence of alcohol or other mind-altering substances, masturbates and uses his tears as lubricant. A tear jerker may also be defined as a date or encounter with a woman which results in the afore mentioned definition.

This idea is referenced, but not directly named, in the popular film, "Waiting...".
A dialogue from the movie, "Waiting...".
---------------- ----
Dean: Calvin, what happens with every girl you're interested in? Nothing! You take them out, you pay for everything - you never make a move!

Monty: And then you go home... alone... to masturbate... while you cry... using your own tears as lubricant.

Calvin: Ok that was once... and I was drunk... and it was Valentine's Day.
--------------------
Calvin is a total tear jerker.
by joey x September 09, 2006
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butt-jerker

your boyfriend, tom andrascik, just punched me. he is such a butt-jerker
by phin tap May 12, 2009
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turd jerker

Beings which employ fecal matter in order to effectuate a motion in such a manner that it simulates the act of masturbation on their genitailiæ in expectation of bringing to pass orgasm.
you are a turd jerker
by F.D.L.K December 29, 2009
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