Flogging the dolphin

Euphemism for masturbation. Primarily male oriented but can be unisex.

Hey, how did your date go last night?
It didn't. I was stood up, so I ended up staying home and flogging the dolphin.

by ZydrateGirl October 30, 2013

dolphin laid

when a male falls asleep while receiving a handjob.

"So I was at a party last night with this girl and i was so high that i fell asleep while receiving a handjob," Jordan said.

"Dude you got dolphin laid!" Pete said.

the following was based on a true story

by pvb1012 October 9, 2009

Dolphin Pussy Jelly

Female dolphins have vaginal secretions that male male dolphins cum repeatedly. Scientists decided to try if it strictly affected only dolphins so took some Dolphin Pussy Jelly and smeared it on a male primates penis. Oh, boy. It worked. It worked so well the primate had a heart attack.

While this is a popular copy pasta it’s also been a popular “joke” human males have made about wanting to die this way.

Andy; I’m so sick of this, I’m so close to getting my hands on some Dolphin Pussy Jelly and ending it

Simon: wait is that true?

Andy: please, Google dolphins pussy jelly. And make sure you don’t forget the word “jelly”

by Pogoextreme July 14, 2021

Dumphump

A dumphump occurs when you bang a chick while you're taking a dump. Shitting, wiping your ass, and then banging while sitting on the toilet is not considered a dumphump. You have to be in the process of shitting while banging for it to be considered a true dumphump. If you can time it out so that you blow a load as a huge turd is coming out, that feels great. A dumphump does not have to be performed on/over the toilet. You could fuck your girlfriend from behind and shit on your bedroom floor while doing it, and that would be considered a dumphump also. Basically, if you're shitting anywhere, while banging a chick, that is a dumphump. It's a little known fact that 32% of women have more intense orgasms when they are breathing in the smell of shit. If you haven't tried the dumphump yet, try it soon.

Todd: "Did you nail Rebecca yet you dirtbag?"
Ron: "I did more than bang her little guy, I dumphumped her at that frat party."

by John Planet October 8, 2008

Dolphin Tail

When you're having sex with a chick that you know doesn't like anal and attempt to sneak it in her ass. She pulls her ass back, shakes her head no and makes sounds like a dolphin, "Ahhkaa Ahhkaa Ahhka"...hence the dolphin tail.

Man, last night I was fucking this hot chick Tina, I attempted to hit the back door and she cock blocked me with a Dolphin Tail!

by Tina Does Dallas November 14, 2012

spank the dolphin

Wacking off your dad.

Dude, last night my mom made me spank the dolphin.

by dolphins12345 December 3, 2013

dolphinish

(noun) 1.the language that dolphins speak

(adj.) 2. describing someone who acts like a dolphin or is obsessed with dolphins

1. i can speak dolphinish fluently now that the dolphins who live in my backyard have taught me.

2. that girl is so dolphinish, she even has dolphins living in her backyard.

by Maura Z May 5, 2010