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the human piñata

christian novelli but also @damndodie_
someone: look at the human piñata over there!
damndodie_: that's just christian
by damndodie_ January 5, 2017
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Brazilian Piñata

When you hang a bitch from the ceiling and smack her with your dick.
Albert gave his bitch the Brazilian piñata.
by Theoregonslayer2003 January 2, 2020
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Human piñata

Noun - A person who has frequent sex with a large variety of people. Someone who gets banged a lot.
My friend was a human piñata last weekend. She had sex with five guys.
by Abe505 February 15, 2020
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Satan piñata

by It’s Gucci May 19, 2020
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Cosmic Piñata

An entity/person/thing that is responsible for actively or passively absorbing bad events (or, taking the 'hit') so that good things can happen to others, or so that others can avoid bad things.

When it happens passively, the Universe is picking on you.
When it happens actively, the unfortunate person is fixing their karma.
Example 1:
Guy 1: Hey, I heard Steve got struck by lightening thirteen times yesterday!
Guy 2: Yeah totally. I was standing right next to him. If he didn't take it all I would have gotten struck too!
Guy 1: Oh God, yeah, Steve must be a cosmic piñata. Last time I was almost hit by a car but Steve appeared out of nowhere-the car swerved and hit Steve instead!... We're lucky he was with us when shit happened!

Example 2:
Guy 1 does 20 gacha pulls in a mobile game and get rubbish. Guy 1 is a conmic Piñata because he unwittingly raised the chance for another player to get something good.
Guy 2 does 1 gacha pull and get 10 x 5* characters. Guy 2 got lucky because Guy 1 absorbed all the trash.

Example 3:
Girl 1: Hey look! a Louis Vuitton for only 50 bucks on this website!!
Girl 2: *pulls out credit card and buys 10* - OMG! I NEED!

Girl 2: *Finds out it was fake and the thieves stole her credit card details and maxed it out. She didn't have theft insurance.* - Shit!

Girl 1: Oh God! Lucky you found out or it would have been me who would have been conned!
by TaoistCat October 4, 2020
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Cosmic Piñata

An entity/person/thing that is responsible for actively or passively absorbing bad events (or, taking the 'hit') so that good things can happen to others, or so that others can avoid bad things.

When it happens passively, the Universe is picking on you.
When it happens actively, the unfortunate person is fixing their karma.
Example 1:
Guy 1: Hey, I heard Steve got struck by lightening thirteen times yesterday!
Guy 2: Yeah totally. I was standing right next to him. If he didn't take it all I would have gotten struck too!
Guy 1: Oh God, yeah, Steve must be a cosmic piñata. Last time I was almost hit by a car but Steve appeared out of nowhere-the car swerved and hit Steve instead!... We're lucky he was with us when shit happened!

Example 2:
Guy 1 does 20 gacha pulls in a mobile game and get rubbish. Guy 1 is a conmic Piñata because he unwittingly raised the chance for another player to get something good.
Guy 2 does 1 gacha pull and get 10 x 5* characters. Guy 2 got lucky because Guy 1 absorbed all the trash.

Example 3:
Girl 1: Hey look! a Louis Vuitton for only 50 bucks on this website!!
Girl 2: *pulls out credit card and buys 10* - OMG! I NEED!

Girl 2: *Finds out it was fake and the thieves stole her credit card details and maxed it out. She didn't have theft insurance.* - Shit!

Girl 1: Oh God! Lucky you found out or it would have been me who would have been conned!
by TaoistCat October 4, 2020
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Cosmic Piñata

An entity/person/thing that is responsible for actively or passively absorbing bad events (or, taking the 'hit') so that good things can happen to others, or so that others can avoid bad things.

In most cases when an inordinate number of misfortunes occur seemingly as a 'string of bad luck,' the universe is most likely picking on you.
Example 1:
Guy 1: Hey, I heard Steve got struck by lightening thirteen times yesterday!
Guy 2: Yeah totally. I was standing right next to him. If he didn't take it all I would have gotten struck too!
Guy 1: Oh God, yeah, Steve must be a Cosmic Piñata. Last time I was almost hit by a car but Steve appeared out of nowhere-the car swerved and hit Steve instead!... We're lucky he was with us when shit happened!

Example 2:
Guy 1 does 20 gacha pulls in a mobile game and get rubbish. Guy 1 is a Cosmic Piñata because he unwittingly raised the chance for another player to get something good.
Guy 2 does 1 gacha pull and get 10 x 5* characters. Guy 2 got lucky because Guy 1 absorbed all the trash.

Example 3:
Girl 1: Hey look! a Louis Vuitton for only 50 bucks on this website!!
Girl 2: *pulls out credit card and buys 10* - OMG! I NEED!

Girl 2: *Finds out it was fake and the thieves stole her credit card details and maxed it out. She didn't have theft insurance.* - Shit!

Girl 1: Oh God! Lucky you found out or it would have been me who would have been conned!
Girl 2: God I hate being a Cosmic Piñata! What did I do to deserve this!?
by KenshoMo October 17, 2020
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