FEDEXUAL

Sexually attracted to reliability, tracking numbers, and anything that promises “overnight delivery.” Gets turned on by words like “package,” “handling,” and “out for delivery.”

“They’re not needy—they’re fedexual. Consistency, firm boxes, and a guaranteed arrival time really do it for them.”

by Dani&Rick December 15, 2025

the fedex

It is when you put a fist in the pink and a foot in the stink.

Fred was driving the FedEx so hard that Corina couldn’t walk the next day.

by VBsmash May 2, 2018