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Cranking Units

What began as Edmonton-speak for ‘drinking beers’, has evolved into an entire culture.

Anything can be a unit, and usually it’s crankable, sometimes the unit even cranks itself and you need to crank it before it cranks you. Sometimes you crank the units and later on the units crank back (ie a hangover).

Unit Classification System - Crankology. 101

Type 1 Units

- Instant gratification units. Require little effort to crank, with high pleasure payoff.

- Ex: cocaine, liquor.

Type 2 Units

- Units that require some effort to crank, with potentially great rewards.

- Ex: mushrooms, ayahuasca, changa.

Type 3 Units

- Units that crank you, but in the long run allow you to crank even more units.

- Ex: psychedelic ego death, vaccines, getting lost in the forest and discovering your spirit animal after days of dehydration and delirium.

Type 4 Units

- Food units. Calories are eventually required for even the most veteran of greeblers.

- Ex: Rave pizza.

Type 5 Units

- Units that need to leave the body. Bodily function units.

- Ex: crank a piss, bro!

Type 6 Units

- Mystery Units. Units found, effects unknown until cranked.

Ex: powdery substance snorted off greebly shag rug.

Type 7 Units

- Adrenaline units. Units that activate internal adrenaline system for sake of excitement and cheap thrills!

Ex: fire spinning, sky diving, BDSM kinks.

Type 8 Units

Sexual pleasure units.

Ex: cranking your nut butter all over your babe (with consent).
*Looks at empty beer box* “bro did we crank all those unes?”

“I went to help my friend build a fence but then we just started cranking units instead”

“When I birthed my child I was in labour for 12 hours”
“Damn, that’s cranking a unit for sure”

“Love une/ love yoon”

“Don’t forget to use your manners, say please and crank une”

What is life, but a unit cranked?”
by anonymous November 18, 2021
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Chris-Chaning

A verb that means to have unconsentual relations with one's senile old mother. Originates from when Christine Weston Chandler had unconsentual relations with his senile 80 year old mother.
"Why did Jeff go prison?"
"He was caught Chris-Chaning."
"Holy shit, that boy ain't right"
by CheeseWhizInMyScrotum July 31, 2021
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blue tongue craving

the craving of having a blue tongue, fulfil your craving by drinking blue raspberry slushees or eating blue raspberry jolly ranchers
she has a blue tongue craving. let’s go to sonic and get a blue raspberry slushee!
by ameliaig February 26, 2021
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cock craving

Cock craving; and emotional state of desire that a woman feels for action from a man
Jessica: Man, I've got a major cock craving for Matt
Sally: Oh, I know what you mean, I wanna bang him
by Brian September 25, 2006
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Craking

meaning another word for"happening". originating from the back streets of New York
"yo, wots craking homey"
"arrm cool"
by Tolga November 20, 2004
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Cranking A Brown

When you take a shit. Usually during an upper decking.
I was really Cranking A Brown at the party. Nothing funnier than Upper Decking someones toliet during a party. I of course left the party after i shitted.
by upper deck crew July 30, 2009
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Dick Craving Disorder

Dick Craving Disorder (often referred to as D.C.D.) is when a female of any age is on a 'dick rampage' and is sleeping or doing anything sexual with tons of guys non-stop.
Usually caused by losing virginity, having sex with a person good in bed or by getting D.C.D. from the male, the male can have D.C.D. but will not be effected by the disorder, he will simply carry the disorder and give it to whom ever he sleeps with.
Kevin: 'Yo Jim i finally took Tina's virginity'
Jim: "Damn Kevin you're the man"
Kevin: 'Yeah, but ever since then she dumped me and slept with 5 other guys and this happen 2 days ago'
Jim: "Damn bruh she got the Dick Craving Disorder"
by _The_Realist_ March 7, 2011
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