Probably the most boring sport in the world. People standing around for minutes on end in silly science fiction costumes and occasionally running for a few seconds. Far too many rules and not enough flow. About as exciting as watching people play chess. Watch real football (the most popular sport in the world, for good reason) if you crave real excitement.
Patient: Doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping.
Doctor: Just watch some American Football and you'll be asleep in a few minutes.
Doctor: Just watch some American Football and you'll be asleep in a few minutes.
by midnite serpent September 24, 2007
Probably the gayest sport ever. You're gay if you like watching "big, strong mean who probably aren't using steroids just to look cool" tackle each other on the ground while carrying a pig skin ball. Grow a pair and play Rugby you pussys
by A Rebel October 11, 2010
Gay American sport. Bunch of dumbass steroid using fags trying to hump each other while trying to run to the other side of the field. Stops every 10 seconds and lots of subs because the players are too fat to run much.
Look at that steroid jacked dumbass with the pig-skin under that pile of men. He might graduate high school with an D average if he's lucky. It must be an American football.
by Triple Z July 11, 2008
Shite American "sport" for fat people to play and watch.
Physical fitness is not required as play stops every minute for a 5 minute break when the coaches play a basterdised version of physical chess. Not to mention the fact that the entire team gets changed round several times a game. Why? Because one player is to stupid to be able to know how to both attack AND defend!
Players wear pads and helmets because they are too feckin dumb to learn how to tackle properly (like in Rugby). Padding is like giveing a swimmer a boat.
I couldn't give a shit who or how big Ray Lewis is. If he took all that gay padding off and came across Jona Lomu or any of the New Zealand rugby squad he would know what a tackle is. The bigger they are the harder they fall. And if everyone keeps quoting his name because he's huge at 250lbs that's about the MINIMUM weight for an international rugby forward.
How many "football" players actually look like they've been in a game? They're all pretty boys who don't know what a good studing or stamping on feels like. They should be put at the bottom of rook to see what it feels like without padding.
To summarise - shit, slow, lazy game (sport is too generous a word) played by fat, unfit people and supported by self obssessed, ignorant, xenophobic yanks who believe that because it is their sport it is the best in the world and their players are the biggest and strongest.
Physical fitness is not required as play stops every minute for a 5 minute break when the coaches play a basterdised version of physical chess. Not to mention the fact that the entire team gets changed round several times a game. Why? Because one player is to stupid to be able to know how to both attack AND defend!
Players wear pads and helmets because they are too feckin dumb to learn how to tackle properly (like in Rugby). Padding is like giveing a swimmer a boat.
I couldn't give a shit who or how big Ray Lewis is. If he took all that gay padding off and came across Jona Lomu or any of the New Zealand rugby squad he would know what a tackle is. The bigger they are the harder they fall. And if everyone keeps quoting his name because he's huge at 250lbs that's about the MINIMUM weight for an international rugby forward.
How many "football" players actually look like they've been in a game? They're all pretty boys who don't know what a good studing or stamping on feels like. They should be put at the bottom of rook to see what it feels like without padding.
To summarise - shit, slow, lazy game (sport is too generous a word) played by fat, unfit people and supported by self obssessed, ignorant, xenophobic yanks who believe that because it is their sport it is the best in the world and their players are the biggest and strongest.
"Do you wanna go play some sports"
"Nah i'll sit here and drink beer and eat nachos because i'm a fat lazy yank"
"Nah i'll sit here and drink beer and eat nachos because i'm a fat lazy yank"
by Mike March 26, 2005
Pretty much the dumbest idea ever. For one thing, it's not even football! Football is what you idiotic american football players call "soccer"."Soccer" is REAL football! In your retarded football, you don't even use your feet! Unlike in REAL football! For another thing, take an awesome game that isn't for pussies, rugby: no pads, no stopping in between every play, no 5 hour games, and no stupid goal as big as the field itself! Take that awesome sport over seas to america, have some stupid lard-a's that do nothing but sit on their asses all day and watch TV, screw around with it, take REAL football's name cause they can't think of anything else cause they're failures at life, and you get american football: a "sport" for fatties that can't run for more then 15 seconds max.
american football player:You're a pussy.
ME:I play soccer and alley rugby, and your calling me the pussy! You're the pussy for playing american football. At least I can run for 90 min.'s straight without stopping every 2-15 seconds. And, all I wear pad-wise are tiny little shin guards, not a full body suit of new-age armor.
american football player:Football's a man's sport!
ME:My point exactly! You're all homosexuals! Just look at the way you touch each other!
american football player:We're not touching each other, we're hitting each other!
ME:Can you even feel that through those hundred-pound pads you're wearing. Plus, what is the point of the butt-protecters, just to make it harder for you're gay colleagues to get to it? I sure hope you guys are wearing condoms in those so called "dog piles". It would be horrible if a whole team died of AIDS, on second thought, do what ever you want.
american football player:well...ummm...well.......
ME:Oh, I'm sorry is your mouth guard in?
american football player:you....uhhhhh....you.......
ME:Yeah, that's what I thought.
ME:PEACE! Baby Gap.
ME:I play soccer and alley rugby, and your calling me the pussy! You're the pussy for playing american football. At least I can run for 90 min.'s straight without stopping every 2-15 seconds. And, all I wear pad-wise are tiny little shin guards, not a full body suit of new-age armor.
american football player:Football's a man's sport!
ME:My point exactly! You're all homosexuals! Just look at the way you touch each other!
american football player:We're not touching each other, we're hitting each other!
ME:Can you even feel that through those hundred-pound pads you're wearing. Plus, what is the point of the butt-protecters, just to make it harder for you're gay colleagues to get to it? I sure hope you guys are wearing condoms in those so called "dog piles". It would be horrible if a whole team died of AIDS, on second thought, do what ever you want.
american football player:well...ummm...well.......
ME:Oh, I'm sorry is your mouth guard in?
american football player:you....uhhhhh....you.......
ME:Yeah, that's what I thought.
ME:PEACE! Baby Gap.
by kellysucksbutirideitanyways February 12, 2008
An idiotic, homoerotic sport which looks like a bunch of apes trying to have sex with each other. It was named 'football' by a misinformed redneck who wasn't privy to the fact that the most popular sport in the world already carries that name. It is a result of international espionage because it appears vertually identical to rugby, so there's nothing original there. To enjoy American Football you need an IQ of a beach towel and a steady diet of beer and fried chicken.
by russianbear54 September 12, 2006
The pussy sort where fat and ugly men get a chance to play with balls and touch each other! Also it isn't unknown for football players to get on top of each other!
Fat Guy: Dude, do you play american football?
Cool Guy: No, I'm not gay and i can run for more than 5 seconds.
Cool Guy: No, I'm not gay and i can run for more than 5 seconds.
by soccerguy May 10, 2008