Carved Blumkin- a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon- a festive sex act perpetrated upon new inmates upon their being processed into central lock up and the main prison population in American Prisons- usually occasioned on but not exclusive to Halloween. Turning a new inmate into a "carved blumkin" usually involves his person being purchased as a "wife" (read: "bitch"), in exchange for cigarettes or other such bartered items- as opposed to his merely remaining another bartered item himself (read "everybody's fuck). The act of "carving a blumkin" is therefore both a marital and Hallows Eve ceremonial process of incarceration. The celebration begins with general crotch grabbing by the guests, bachelor, and best men. This is followed immediately by smuggled spoons percussed against the bars, (a clever substitution for wedding bells), calling all to the the altar (read: commode) for the fraternal ritual defecation- followed thereupon with more spoons beating upon the bars, prompting the bachelor to carry his unsuspecting object of adoration directly to his bunk in an act of non consensual conjugal sex (read rape), as a rite of dysfunctional sexual passage... in more ways than one (read: anally). The beating of spoons on bars during the "carving of the blumkin" is the origin for many of our traditions on the outside, such as ringing spoons upon glasses to make the bride and groom kiss upon command.
Carved Blumkin- a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon - "Ohhh, hell yeah, check out tha' new 'fish'! Awwww! Is gom be one helluva Happy mutha freakin' all Hollowed Out eve full o' sweet new meat all up in hea! Woop woop! Soon as I pinch off dis heah loaf, I gon carve me up a piece o'dat fine assed Blumkin o' his with dis hea niggaz Holloweeny!!!"
by StalinLovesCIAfakeMSM March 2, 2013
Get the Carved Blumkin- [a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon] mug.Guy: (While folding laundry) "Looks like it's time to thrown these underwear away...."
Girl: "Wow, nice prison panties!"
Girl: "Wow, nice prison panties!"
by C. Morebutts June 25, 2012
Get the Prison Panties mug.by Ya moma October 20, 2013
Get the prison pretty mug.An exercise carried out before one leaves a party and must "sober-up" ASAP, say before entering the presence of unapproving authority figures. involves heavy drinking of water and excessive bread consumption. not to be confused with the "drop-the-soap drill".
Bro 1: dude, we gotta head back soon but we cant go back this drunk
Bro 2: its alright man, we just gotta go do the prison drill!
Bro 2: its alright man, we just gotta go do the prison drill!
by Ruddy Duck February 6, 2012
Get the The Prison Drill mug.by LilS May 10, 2012
Get the Prison Shirt mug.The defensive then aggressive attitude insecure ex-convicts take when dealing with the real worlds problems. Directly associated with the size of the chip on some ones shoulders. Any degree of adversity can trigger this show of stupidity derived from the lack of understanding of how much their friends really care. Commonly associated with acts of kindness mistaken as criticism about an ex-convicts abilities at anything.
Not normally associated with physical violence, but attributed more to verbal defensive abuse.
Not normally associated with physical violence, but attributed more to verbal defensive abuse.
Every since my bosses son got out of jail, he goes Prison Postal over every little thing in his life. It's worse than asking a Drama Queen how her day was.
by A J V January 14, 2012
Get the Prison Postal mug.When your university housemate is having pres with a group of friends you don't really know in the communal kitchen or living area, so you're forced to stay (or hide) in your room all evening
I was planning to meal prep tonight, but Sophie was having pres in the kitchen, so I ended up being a pres prisoner and having dry cereal out of the box in my room instead
by lilypad01 June 7, 2023
Get the Pres prisoner mug.