Hand Creamer

A male that chronically masturbates. Usually unemployed, lives at home and what little income he has is spent on porn.

Jon is a hand creamer. Can’t believe his mom doesn’t boot him out.

Online porn has turned me into a hand creamer.

by Eaton Holgoode June 4, 2018

Hand Festival

Old Gaelic(Irish) term for Masturbating.

I'll see you guys later, I'm having a hand festival.

Billy is in the bathroom having a hand festival.

My hands are sticky from the hand festival.

That girl is so Danger she always has a hand festival.

by Misterree88 November 20, 2011

Farmer’s Hand

A tug job aka hand job given by someone with a calloused, rough hand.

I paid $5 to that homeless dude for a quick tug behind the dumpster. I got a farmer’s hand and man my dick is sore.

I hate my uncle’s farmer’s hand. I wish he would use some lotion.

by Eaton Holgoode August 8, 2018

Pufferfish hands

Easy way of saying raynauds syndrome

Mum! My pufferfish hands are acting up! Give me the gloves

by Pufferfish hand expert February 19, 2021

Cheese Hand

The hand that is saved (often during another simultaneous acitivity) for eating a cheesy (or an otherwise debri-creating) snack.

I was playing the Wii with my right hand, cause my left hand was my cheese hand.

by R3J3CT & UG April 10, 2009

Fap Handed

To receive a hand job aka a handy or old fashioned.

Your mom fap handed me under the dinner table last night.

My uncle snuck in my room and fap handed me.

The coach caught the team as they fap handed each other in the locker room.

by Eaton Holgoode December 1, 2017

hand busy

Trying to do something the same time your other hand is busy masturbating.

"My mom called me the other day while I was getting hand busy" or "It's hard to type when people IM me when I'm getting hand busy"

by CL69 May 14, 2008