Jared

That guy that probably has a folder of furry porn on his computer, thats a Jared. The scent of him is like a slut hanging around just a bit too long at a truck shop, or a greasy corndog left too long in the sun at a renaissance festival.

A Jared is quite often the only man in the room to bring up his trip to Rainfurrest and how it wasn't so bad. He may also be the guy who sets jars of cum on the window to let others know this is his territory. A man who will openly say he has only one waifu, and her name is Fluttershy. All around a nice dude that takes this too far and smells like a mistake.

Y"ou smell that? Smells like someone left a Jared in the sun "

by Sentientbagel May 7, 2020

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Get the Jaredmug.

Jared

The epitome of laziness. Loves to fondle cats and touch their privates. When attacking a Jared, do not go for the head, because it is metal plated, you won’t phase him. Typically looks like they’re lost and walking in circles, but don’t interrupt them, this is how they think, and disturbing them could ruin their entire day.

Stop being a Jared.

by NickyRen October 18, 2022

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Get the Jaredmug.

Jared's Ears

Jared's Ears Is a genetical condition in which somebodies ears are literally ginormous. Some mistake a person with Jared's ears to be a bird or other flying specimen. Jared's ears is normally identified at birth because the ginormous ears are incredibly big at birth, and therefore make labor incredibly hard. Jared's ears only has one cure which is to cut the ears off, or trim them with a rotary sander.

Is that a bird dog, nah its a plane.

Shit. Nevermind, it's just a guy with Jared's ears

by Christophlak June 18, 2024

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