Definition:
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
“He’s not just a deadbeat — he’s a Creep Creeping Past Expiration.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
by Roxx Farron June 6, 2025
Get the Creep Creeping Past Expirationmug. by Snow Biscuit April 18, 2024
Get the Creep Seatsmug. The group decided that flash mobs were too overdone, so they performed a surface creep across the cafeteria floor and tables.
by soilscienceguy November 30, 2017
Get the surface creepmug. by Lick.My.Dick August 16, 2018
Get the Creep Nightmug. by Ligmalmaolol March 13, 2023
Get the Creepmug. by EddieBrock5 June 25, 2025
Get the Creeps & Squeaksmug. Fake homeless junkies who stand on the corner of freeway exits in Detroit saying that they're hungry and homeless when reality they all want money to buy dope.
There is the corner creep on 7 Mile again. she just scored another dollar bill from some dumb gullible emphaburb.
by Tiffctinary July 27, 2016
Get the Corner Creepmug.