Definition:
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
“He’s not just a deadbeat — he’s a Creep Creeping Past Expiration.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
by Roxx Farron June 6, 2025
Get the Creep Creeping Past Expiration mug.Friend 1: Did you see how that guy was staring at us as we walked by?
Friend 2: Yeah, he’s a real creep-kabob.
Ew, such a creep-kabob.
I felt so uncomfortable what a creep-kabob.
Friend 2: Yeah, he’s a real creep-kabob.
Ew, such a creep-kabob.
I felt so uncomfortable what a creep-kabob.
by Scarlett Snow March 21, 2019
Get the Creep-Kabob mug.App Creep refers to the uncontrolled additions or continuous growth of apps on an individuals smartphone(device). This phenomenon occurs when the App Store is utilized in a reckless manner and the acquirement of apps is not properly defined, documented, managed or controlled. It is generally considered a negative occurrence, and therefore should be avoided.
Amazed friend: "Dude you got like 5000 productivity apps on your smart phone!"
You: "Yeah, I have a serious case of app creep."
You: "Yeah, I have a serious case of app creep."
by ITSS Chris August 29, 2012
Get the app creep mug.A person feeling so unlovable/unattractive he or she doesn’t dare to actually engage in mutual connection and flirting, but rather engages with a fantasy version of the crush and thus displays weird and intense behaviour.
Often more attuned to the persons own deep longing for intimacy than the other person and might therefore show creepy behaviour towards almost anyone.
Needs to love themselves better and stop relating to fantasies rather than reality.
Often more attuned to the persons own deep longing for intimacy than the other person and might therefore show creepy behaviour towards almost anyone.
Needs to love themselves better and stop relating to fantasies rather than reality.
“He’s such a creep, hope he can turn that intense craving for my love back on himself and love himself better”
by murchannal November 22, 2024
Get the Creep mug.
A situation where gradual progress in a fetid or unwanted romantic process, initially following a consistent and foreseeable path. Making gradual and often unnoticed movement leading towards sometimes unwanted bedroom attention, including but not limited to, special trouser kisses.
My husbands hand performed a linear progress creep last night when he came home drunk at 2am and I was trying to sleep in bed.
by Acellertnac November 22, 2023
Get the Linear Progress Creep mug.Similar to the brilliant reach-around, but rather than a stroke and a poke, a gentle cradling of the balls and some sweet
talking is in order.
talking is in order.
by Beerbattered March 24, 2011
Get the Creep Around mug.