Carved Blumkin- a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon- a festive sex act perpetrated upon new inmates upon their being processed into central lock up and the main prison population in American Prisons- usually occasioned on but not exclusive to Halloween. Turning a new inmate into a "carved blumkin" usually involves his person being purchased as a "wife" (read: "bitch"), in exchange for cigarettes or other such bartered items- as opposed to his merely remaining another bartered item himself (read "everybody's fuck). The act of "carving a blumkin" is therefore both a marital and Hallows Eve ceremonial process of incarceration. The celebration begins with general crotch grabbing by the guests, bachelor, and best men. This is followed immediately by smuggled spoons percussed against the bars, (a clever substitution for wedding bells), calling all to the the altar (read: commode) for the fraternal ritual defecation- followed thereupon with more spoons beating upon the bars, prompting the bachelor to carry his unsuspecting object of adoration directly to his bunk in an act of non consensual conjugal sex (read rape), as a rite of dysfunctional sexual passage... in more ways than one (read: anally). The beating of spoons on bars during the "carving of the blumkin" is the origin for many of our traditions on the outside, such as ringing spoons upon glasses to make the bride and groom kiss upon command.
Carved Blumkin- a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon - "Ohhh, hell yeah, check out tha' new 'fish'! Awwww! Is gom be one helluva Happy mutha freakin' all Hollowed Out eve full o' sweet new meat all up in hea! Woop woop! Soon as I pinch off dis heah loaf, I gon carve me up a piece o'dat fine assed Blumkin o' his with dis hea niggaz Holloweeny!!!"
by StalinLovesCIAfakeMSM March 2, 2013
Get the Carved Blumkin- [a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon] mug.Did you hear about Matt? He was roofied at the gay bar and last night, and Adam gave him a "Prison Collision".
by Nontipical April 21, 2017
Get the Prison Collision mug.The person is the only one staring at me from the middle of the crowd like a prison lurch
I caught the person staring at me from around the corner like a prison lurch
I caught the person staring at me from around the corner like a prison lurch
by Windy Winn June 29, 2022
Get the Prison Lurch mug.by ExtraProtein December 11, 2017
Get the prison position mug.(1) A glorious, swift, and cheap mass expedition of justice for the salvation of the tax payer. (2) The type of welcomed arson—by all—that both financially saves and violently purifies a community or nation. (3) A grueling punishment of various degrees, such as temperature and burns, in which a population of inmates must suddenly, collectively, and submissively endure behind locked bars for the economic benefit of the community or nation.
Auditor: “How many hours did you manage the prison last quarter, and how much did it cost?”
Warden: “Hmm… 2-3 hours. It cost $15 for matches and lighter fluid—all for the prison fire that will pay for the new high school football stadium.”
Warden: “Hmm… 2-3 hours. It cost $15 for matches and lighter fluid—all for the prison fire that will pay for the new high school football stadium.”
by 7even 4our 1ne August 3, 2021
Get the Prison Fire mug.Darryl-prison describes the situation you find yourself in, when you're prisoner of a toxic relationship. Darryl stands for all the men that never ask how you are, that suck your self-worth and live to will out of you, and that make you stop glowing. On the positive note, getting OUT of Darryl-prison is the best thing ever. It ages you back 5 years, makes you feel amazing, and you see what a douchebag your personal Darryl truly was. If you're reading this: Please never forget that you are a goddess and no man is worth diminishing your dreams, the way you feel or your ambitions and your love. You will find someone better, f that man. You deserve to be loved in a way that feels easy and natural, in a way where you don't have to explain yourself, beg for love or ask for the bare minimum. Hold on to that.
Liz: Remember when I was in Darryl-prison? I wanted to jump off of 28th floor FMC.
Sara: Thank god you're out of Darryl-prison. I don't want to ever experience this.
Sara: Thank god you're out of Darryl-prison. I don't want to ever experience this.
by pinabowladas January 26, 2025
Get the Darryl-prison mug.by Funnytreeguy420 December 30, 2020
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