The Blind Monkey

if yo momma ask you “hand me that remote right there” & you mumble “you better ask the blind monkey” that “ask the blind monkey” shit replaces the look you give her when she saying bullshit before she pop yo ass

“you’re late to class again, i’ll be making a phone call to your mother asking why you’re always late” okay bitch you better ask the blind monkey

by swagmastermf November 22, 2021

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monkey hustling

What junkies do in Mount Vernon NY.They put a few pennies in a cup,come up to you,rattle the cup and say "Help a brother out". They get enough change from
several people and go buy a bag a dope.

One narc said to he other narc"Yeah the monkey hustling are out on forth avenue is fierce today"

by Joedecop September 20, 2014

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Mississippi Mud Monkey

The Mississippi Mud Monkey is when you take a shit and the feces is clinging to the hairs in and around the anus like a monkeys to tree branches. The Mississippi Mud Monkey derives it’s name after the clay like mud prevalent in much of Mississippi’s soil. The mud can be sticky and difficult to walk, drive through, and wipe away.

Damn, I just gave birth to a Mississippi Mud Monkey and now I need a shower.

Man, this girl is clinging to me like a Mississippi Mud Monkey

by Don’t call me Dad September 19, 2025

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Buying a monkey

A situation in which someone who has recently come into a very large sum of money goes and buys weird, unusual, or taboo things, simply because they can. The phrase itself is derived from Michael Jackson, who bought a pet chimpanzee named Bubbles in the 80's following the success of his album Thriller.

Person 1: I've just fucking won 20 million in the lottery

Person 2: Man, that's a lot of money, what are you going to buy?

Person 1: I'm buying a monkey.

by rollacethejazzmaster September 5, 2021

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