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clutch monkey

A godly person who never chokes under pressure is clutch
it's a squad vs solo don't worry he got it he's a clutch monkey
by 4nite March 19, 2018
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monkey slide

A monkey slide means an old metal playground slide in piece of vintage playground equipment from years ago between the Early 1900s to the 1990s.
An old Metal Slide in an Old Playground is a monkey slide.
by Tominator 1401. May 5, 2018
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A manufactured problem, one that is easy to solve but not convient to the person responsible for manufacturing it. Normally it's a self solving problem, often created by management level decision makers, and would potentially negatively affect the person being asked for help in solving the problem. Artificial urgency is often imparted bu the bowling ball owner, along with the inability to self rescue & lack of understanding about the basic problem and their part in it.

A monkey would be done enjoying the bowling ball in time, without need or risk to the person trying to stop the monkey. It may attack, bite or otherwise retaliate if interrupted, but by waiting it will simply go away.

Mammals don't respond well to coitus interruptus, a bowling ball can be washed later with no risk to the person being asked for help.
A couple saw a cute bear in the park and stopped to feed it. The bear decided to finish eating their picnic basket, in the back seat. In a hurry to leave called the park rangers "Just wait a while, the bear will finish up and leave' the ranger suggested, and turning to their coworker says 'monkey fucking a bowling ball'
by anonymous November 15, 2025
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crack monkeys

Those weird girls who watch anime and go to the bathroom with their phones at school. They eat hotcheetohs and smell like crap.
ay yo look at those crack monkeys over there. "uwu"
by yourmomhascracks March 2, 2020
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Chunking the monkey

Sorry Bro, I was chunking the monkey last night
by Weavebobo October 26, 2016
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Noodle Monkey

A fuckwit who wears his wedding ring, looking for a long term relationship and monogamy in their Tinder profile
Why are you wearing your wedding ring in your Tinder profile you noodle monkey
by anonymous July 24, 2025
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Cum monkey

when someone crawls all over you while cumming, like a snail trail but with more action
by Corpsestillborn December 28, 2020
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