death monkey

Being extremely hungover after a New Years party at your boyfriends involving an alcoholic liquid called Absinthe.

Hey Spencer, I feel like a death monkey.

by chickenfcuk January 2, 2012

beat the monkey to the road

To "beat the monkey to the road" is to anticipate an issue and take steps to mitigate it before it becomes a problem. Being proactive.

"Let's beat the monkey to the road and pick up the beer when we go for the crabs. We don't want to be stuck sitting in traffic!"

by kastagire July 28, 2021

Chunky Monkey

The best flavor of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

This chunky monkey is fucking delicious you black nigger.

by anonymous May 8, 2023

Monkey's Paw

A "monkeys paw" is when you're taking a shower and you're out of wash cloths Once you get to washing your ass, you soap up your hand and get down there to clean it all out with that soapy bare hand. You're then left with a clean ass but in return, no matter how much you clean that hand, it feels dirty for the rest of the day.

I cant eat tacos today, I gave myself a Monkey's paw this morning and I forgot which hand it was.

by Dandalorian December 15, 2022

bullet monkey

A cum dumpster to pump quickies into.

Samwise is Frodo’s bullet monkey.

by Cole Rabedeux January 21, 2021

patio monkey

somewhat related to porch monkey; but has a caucasion spin; someone that sits on their patio and does not have a job, they mostly talking about building patios

I was walking by the rose garden and some patio monkey with a plaid shirt on tried to preform cunnilingus on me.

by big saf November 9, 2009

Monkey

Racist F---

YOU MONKEY!

by tylerif January 28, 2022