Creep Creeping Past Expiration

Definition:
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.

Signature Behaviors:

Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006

Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him

Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls

Gets mad when women don’t flirt back

Believes showering is optional but sex is a right

Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)

Symptoms Include:

Thinking his penis still has a fan base

Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you

Bragging about sex he’s not having

Fearing accountability more than jail

How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.

“He’s not just a deadbeat — he’s a Creep Creeping Past Expiration.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”

by Roxx Farron June 6, 2025

Creep Ridin

When you cruise around a party, wedding, nightclub, etc. scoping out the ladies from a safe distance with the intent to eventually approach and hit on. Short for "Creep Riding"

Kyle: Dude, Jose is Creep Ridin on those girls
Edwin: At least he's not just creepin on them
Marcus: GRIMACE!

by C Ridah January 18, 2009

Cross Campus Creeping

To be "analyzing/inspecting/viewing/checking out/scoping/judging/whatever else you may call it" a girl (or guy, depending on how you roll), from a great distance.

....you get the picture I'm sure. Today, I was at the top of campus and I had the perfect perch for cross campus creeping on girls. I mean, wouldn't you if you had outstanding vision such as mine?

by Eagle Eyes September 2, 2011

Creeping Nukism

Sarcastic term used in the submarine fleet, mostly by forward submariners, to describe the slow takeover of aft “Nukes” and their nerdy engineering culture of nerdism. They over think everything and make life miserable and difficult, unless you’re a Nuke! Nukes are famous for being the golden children of the boat, exhausting procedural compliance to the Nth degree, a requirement culture of working near the reactor and engineering spaces. Besides finding their rack for sleeping or the mess decks for eating, these top tiered Nerds know nothing about the forward half of the boat, control spaces and weapons areas. Junior officers graduating to division officer jobs up forward, try “creeping-nukism” philosophy on such admired and prideful Torpedo Divisions, who put the smack down on such tomfoolery without prompting.

TMSN Shmuckatelli: “Chief, the Div-O wants me to make the weekly training to include a 100 question test, with a matrix for scoring, on a 7 vector scale, 3 calculus problems, a 5 part numbering system, an illustrated prt breakdown of 10 drawings, and definitions to require clinical laboratory expertise beyond normal automation to perform”.

TM Chief, “Dont get hoodwinked or bamboozled by the creeping nukism, they work harder to get out of work, instead of just doing the work.”

by Torsiondrummer November 17, 2023

Creep Rule

A person's a creep if the age difference between them and their date is greater than half the eldest's current age, plus 7. For example, if a guy is 30, the youngest person he can date without being considered a creep is 15+7=22; younger than that, society looks at the couple sideways.

Dude, you're 45 and dating a 20 year-old? You're a creep!!!! Creep rule is half-your age + 7, my friend. You should date my cousin instead, she's 30 and a freak in bed.

by Caramirdan October 3, 2016

Nagative Creep

To nag someone in a creepy fashion

He was standing in the kitchen in the dark telling me to do the dishes being a total nagative creep

by Eisor October 20, 2021

creep

Barthosz. A person called Barthosz, touches kids and HARDCORE female gamers with HIGH ELO. A total creep that deserves to be locked up with any member of the OBCD klan.

Stay away from him.

Barthosz: Can I have your instagram?
You: No
Barthosz: GIVE ME YOUR INSTAGRAM
You: No
Barthosz: Will you marry me? x
You: No
Barthosz: Kiss me goodnite x
You: help
You to an Agent: what a creep Barthosz is!

by Buncha June 3, 2019