Jared

A guy that gets absolutely no maidens. No bitches. No damsels. No female significant other. Or male significant other, for that matter. He gets nobody. He is alone, and will forever be alone. He loves Friday Night Funkin' and anime, and watches them nonstop.
Hopefully, someday, he will find that special someone.

*at a party*
"Yo you seen my boy Jared?"
"Nah he's at home playin FNF."
"Damn that's too bad."

by Drexsanity November 4, 2022

Jared

Actually the cooloest, sexiest, amazingest, coolest, poggest, incrediblest, bestest, finest, greatest, topest, foremostest, leadingest, preeminentest, premierest, primest, firstest, chiefest, principalest, supremest, of the highest qualityest, superlativest, unrivaledest, second to nonest, without equalest, nonpareilest, unsurpassablest, peerlessest, matchlessest, unbeatablest, unexcelledest, optimumest, ultimatest, incomparablest, idealest, perfectest, highestest, record-breakingest, top of the rangest, top of the linest, par excellencest, starest, number-onest, one-in-a-millionest, a cut above the restest, top-drawerest

Woah bro you're totally Jared rn

by ScaryBigRobot May 12, 2022

Jared

Jared is black history

Jared was there when martain Luther king jr was giving his speech

by Wigglemybutt628382738 May 13, 2022

Jared

A short male that stinks of b.o (body Oder) and has a nasty hair cut and can’t pull bothers so he preys on little girl

Jared: Bro I can suck my own dick

Person 2: wtf ur weird

by Donkeydickjr December 27, 2021

Pulling a Jared

When you take too much of a substance you do or don't know the content of and start straight salmon-ing on the floor

Person #1: Yo man I haven't seen Tiffany at school in like 3 days, have you heard from her?
Person #2: Idk man but I heard rumors that she ended up pulling a jared.

by LevMehArone January 25, 2022

Jared

A gamer boy who is into older women, loves to watch anime, and has a big dick. He thinks he is funny, but is only funny because he laughs at himself. Has big muscles and is very strong basically a hot stud.

Jared has a massive dick.

by usswidowmaker5 January 25, 2022

Jared

This person will make you feel the lightest you’ve ever felt ever! Like a skinny skinny feather. Jared’s are unapologetic and charming with a fantastical sense of humor. He cherishes his friends and treats them like absolute guido/guidette royalty! Obsessed with gorillas and getting sticky and shaking ass.

Jared can simply whip the piss.

by Definedinmylanguage February 2, 2022