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The Dirt Man

The Dirt Man is a mythological entity familiar to North American culture. The origin of the myth is unknown, but it bears similarities to the familiar childhood myths like the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny. Where these myths diverge is in perceived alignment, and the age demographic. The tooth fairy and Easter bunny are known to be positive, well-meaning entities whereas the dirt man is a negative, frightening one, and is believed in by many adult men.

The myth commonly tells of a dark and shadowy figure, often appearing as a middle-aged man dressed as a cowboy. The dirt man visits and invades the homes of single bachelors, that is to say men without romantic partners. When the dirt man comes to your bedside, he is said to check beneath your pillow for a material sacrifice in the form of dirt, clay, or soil. If the dirt man finds dirt beneath your pillow, he will leave the home, sometimes leaving behind mysterious dirty boot prints and the smell of fresh soil. If the unlucky bachelor, however, does not leave a sacrifice for the dirt man, it is believed that he will harm or abduct the bachelor. Physical harm from the dirt man comes in many forms, and commonly involves damage to a man's reproductive system. Men report awakening to see the dirt man staring at them in the dark of night, and in the following days experiencing new problems including but not limited to: erectile dysfunction, low sperm count, Epididymitis, and the shrinking of one or more testicles, or the scrotum.
"We're guys, we keep a little dirt under the pillow for the dirt man, in case he comes to town. I keep a little dirt under the pillow for the dirt man, so he won't take me down to his lair."
by DefinitelyNotTheDirtMan May 30, 2024
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wet the dirt

To apply lubricant to the ass hole before anal sex
Sheena told Ron that if he was gonna put his dick in her ass, he had better wet the dirt first
by brazildude April 6, 2015
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Shovel the dirt

"I heard you were making a garden. Lemme come over and shovel the dirt."
by RapAttack June 6, 2018
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Past the dirt

Loving someone even after death. Loving them beyond the grave.
by Mrs. Mo$t December 16, 2020
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When someone licks dried up poop off of someone else's butthole.
Stephen: Yo, what did you and that girl do?
Jeffrey: Nothing much, she was just licking the dirt off my tires, now my asshole is clean. Wink.
by moughh July 5, 2023
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In the dirt

Driver one: Did you see what the boy driver did yesterday

Driver two: yes, he put one in the dirt, he’s a useless 2 minute driver. I hope he’s off the road for a long time. He’s not even good enough to to be a driver trainer, let alone a driver!
Driver one: Amen, these off the streeter’s definitely weren’t hired on merit
by Buff man Mossy May 18, 2023
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Put the seeds in the dirt

Don’t bs around and if you want real stuff to happen you need to put the seeds in the dirt
Billybob wants to get in shape but doesn’t want to go to the gym, so his friends told him to put the seeds in the dirt
by Kolaplantroot December 11, 2024
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