Your and You're 

Two words that are commonly mixed up by idiots who need to improve their shitty grammar. I see these kind of people very often over the internet, and it pisses me off. They also often sound very similar to this:

"z0mg d0000d you're hair is s000 awe3summ brahhhhh! your the awesomest doooood!!!!!11!!!!1!!!one!!!one!!"

Although some people have realized the true difference between the two words, let me explain the differences to those who still have not.

The word "Your" is used when showing possession.
The word "You're" is used when describing the person you are communicating with.

Examples of how you should really use the words Your and You're:

Your: Your hair. Your terrible grammar. Your small penis.

You're: You're the person with bad grammar. You're a faggot.

Your and You're by Mike Starace July 27, 2010

ask no questions and you'll be told no lies

It is a quote by Charles Dickens that is used to reply to a question with an answer best kept untold.
The quote has been shortened to "ask no questions hear no lies" in modern use by people who do not know the origin of the quote.

Professor: How far along are you with that assignment, Peter?
Peter: Ask no questions and you'll be told no lies, Professor.
Professor: Ah, Charles Dickens. Alright then, we'll just forget about the assignment for now. I will not accept any work given to me after the hand-in date, remember that.

ask no questions and you'll be told no lies by stevie the illiterate March 16, 2017

You and I both know 

This is a phrase used to give self assurance and confidence. It actually means "I know"

You and I both know that Cindy doesn't sleep around.

You and I both know the builders will be finished next week.

The check is in the post- you and I both know that

You and I both know by Sonny Saint April 23, 2020

And you know I’m serious because I said The World and not ZAWARUDO

“And you know I’m serious because I said The World and not ZAWARUDO” is a phrase commonly used by Lord Nuxanor after making a serious statement with the words “The World” in the statement as apposed to the usual use of the world which is correctly pronounced as ZAWARUDO while flexing epically on all the normies because you gotta stay cool fam.

“We must end poverty across The World, And you know I’m serious because I said The World and not ZAWARUDO”

And you know I’m serious because I said The World and not ZAWARUDO by CoochieFister666 December 2, 2019

Flowers stink and you are purple 

Flowers stink and you are purple isn't actually a thing but it is when you want to annoy some1 >:) And it's awesome to annoy kaymunk

"@kaymunk"
"yesh?"

"flowers stink and you are purple!""hehehehe"
"NO! >:("
"yesssss >:))) tehehehe"

Flowers stink and you are purple by Pandamyum March 26, 2022

You and the captain, make it happen 

1. Originally the slogan of the children's cereal Captain Crunch, wherein the hungry kid is taken aboard the Captain's ship and receives Captain Crunch; thus the kid is no longer hungry.

2. Referring to a night of drinking Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum .
-Infers you got(or will get) some action as a result of drinking Captain.

Kids - "Captain Crunch!"
Captain Crunch - "You and the captain, make it happen."

"Bro, I hooked up with this hot ass girl last night."
"Hey, you and the captain, make it happen."

You and the captain, make it happen by Jack Daniels Northrup April 23, 2006

...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead

a rock band from Texas
often simply called "Trail of Dead"
a very good band and in my opinion the hope of alternative rock, a genre that suffered so much in the past few years.
they got everything: musical talent and the jolly good ambitions to bring variety into every album, cool lyrics, stylish artworks and on stage they simply ROCK! make sure to be there if they are around for a show.

i simply like ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead - although first i thought they play some emo crap. but then i listened to them!

...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead by sgrDD March 20, 2008