asparagus

A term used to parody astrology girls and their crazy beliefs in zodiac signs.

Example:

Police Officer: You're under arrest.
Astrology Girl: For what? I didn't do anything!
Police Officer: You're under arrest for murdering those five children in the parking lot.
Astrology Girl: Please don't arrest me, I'm sorry officer, it's because I'm an Aquarius!
Police Officer: Nobody cares that you're an asparagus, you're still going to prison.

by obama account April 27, 2024

holds your asparagus

as in hold your horses , wait a minute O.O

SALLY WE NEEDA DIP AS IN RIGHT NOW I AM NOT IN THE MOOD TO BE PLAYING AROUND

"O.O HOLDS YOUR ASPARAGUS FOR ONE MOMENT"

by greenseqquoiaocean October 26, 2020

Asparagus

Similar to the wheelbarrow sex position, rather it involves all limbs off the ground causing the female or male to stiffen up straight like an asparagus.

Cuz straight out I fucked her so hard lastnite she turned into an asparagus

by Rasper January 7, 2019

Asparagus

A disease that make your eyes big and have green teeth.

Jill as the Asparagus.
Be careful the Asparagus is spreading in town.

by Yakub? December 7, 2018

Asparagus body

You have a “straight” body shape with no curves, you stink but you have layers and your beautiful.

Timmi said softly to Chloe “I love you(y), your body is aparagu(y)s”. (speaking cursive)

Chloe- (stares blankly)

Zack- yo I love your asparagus body, I just want to lay you out like a 2x4.

Emily- My what??

by $helly$shell September 9, 2020

violent asparagus

A code word used to identify fellow gay people without alarming the straights

"VIOLENT ASPARAGUS!"
"What the...?"
"NEVERMIND!"

by Alaska-Green November 16, 2017

Battered asparagus

A male with a long, thin penis with extra foreskin

Omg , I slept with this guy last night, but he had a battered asparagus :(

by Ladymae March 3, 2018