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Cockblocked by Jesus

When an attractive girl will not date you because you think that Christianity is hogwash.
Girl: Sorry but I want a relationship that is sanctioned by the Almighty God.

Friend: ooooh boy, you just got cockblocked by Jesus
by bombus August 18, 2010
mugGet the Cockblocked by Jesusmug.

Jesus Pills

A pill embodiment of Jesus that literally turns water into WINE!!!
Person A: Yo Ben you got that good shit?
Person B: Do you mean them Jesus Pills? That turns water into WINE!!!??
Person A: What else is there brosif?
by 10/10 spice game October 26, 2018
mugGet the Jesus Pillsmug.

sexy Jesus

He died for our sins, you gotta believe us.
Coined by Dana Marschz in his production of Hamlet 2.
Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus.
by Danny Zeff July 6, 2009
mugGet the sexy Jesusmug.

come to jesus

Getting called on the carpet, dressed down, or otherwise chewed out in a severe manner. Usually used in conjunction with "meetin'" (meeting)
He was late one too many times, so the old man dragged him in the office for a "come to jesus meetin'".
by Big Bob July 28, 2004
mugGet the come to jesusmug.

jesus the bum

one of the many legendary bums of hoboken, nj. he gets his name from his tall, lanky appearance, and having hair and a beard as long as to resemble jesus christ himself. he is usually found wandering around the palisades (a.k.a the trails) or seen loitering around the mcdonalds on 3rd and washington st. rumours have it that his first name is "bob" and he totally lost it from an overdose of scooby doo acid back in the seventies.
eeyyyoo, you know where jesus the bum at? we want to get some booze from mohammed's.

nah, but i know mark the bum is down by cvs doing his shit
by rickrock May 26, 2008
mugGet the jesus the bummug.

Jesus Chrysler!

A humorous exclamation, punfully used to avoid damnation and the like. Auto mechanics tend to use it in situations of frustration. See Geez Louise.
"This Laser has been taken on a joy ride. It's fucked forever.
Jesus Chrysler!
by Nick Estes July 6, 2006
mugGet the Jesus Chrysler!mug.

Filthy Jesus

A sex fetish that involves one participant to be tied up on a crucifix to resemble Jesus Christ. After this is done, multiple partners defficate and urinate on this person.
I'm really in the mood to do a Filthy Jesus tonight, let's call kevin.
by Iplaymallets January 14, 2009
mugGet the Filthy Jesusmug.

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