Jesus Lunge

During a Halo 2 or Halo 3 multiplayer game, one player melee lunges an unreasonably far distance to get a kill.

That guy Jesus Lunged me from halfway across the map!!!!!!!

by andoveroe January 14, 2008

Bathing with Jesus

A phrase used to counter complete and utter bullshit. Used to call out someone's lie without stating the obvious. Passive-aggressive in nature.

Weaselly friend: (On the phone, obviously home alone geeking out to the commentary on his recently purchased Battlestar Galactica special edition box set) Hey man, I'm throwing a sick party. Gonna be a ton of chicks.

You: Sorry man, I'm busy bathing with Jesus.

by MG Lambo June 12, 2014

jesus devil

An outwardly cool guy who is actually psychotic. In Irish folklore, a demon with the same charisma as Jesus Christ.

He's such a jesus devil: four girls pregnant simultaneously; three seperate court appearances---'break and enter', 'make an officer of the law look like a suckrod', 'carnal knowledge of a horse'. Plus next week, he auditions as a game show host.

by joethelion January 16, 2009

Jesus chords

The basic major and minor chord shapes, as generally played on an acoustic guitar. They are commonly referred to as the 'Jesus chords' simply because they make up the majority of Christian worship music. Singer/songwriters are also well-known for playing these chords frequently in their music.

A guitarist who is only playing 'Jesus chords' (and not using a capo) will rarely, if ever, move his hand past the 4th fret.

Major chords:
E, F (barre), G, A, C, and D major

Minor chords:
E and A minor, B minor (movable), and barre chords that don't include the 3rd finger (movable)

I can kinda play guitar...well, I know the Jesus chords, at least.

by tenortoad July 18, 2012

Jesus Emitter

Something that emits ultraviolet radiation detectable to the human eye.

It's so dark in here...turn on the Jesus Emitter!

by ASsdfaklbs6! December 1, 2010

Jesus Only

The secret ESRB rating for a game that has been critically acclaimed to be so violent that it's been rated JO, for Jesus Only.

"Hey did you hear that Manhunt 2 got an AO rating?" "Actually, it's been rated JO for Jesus Only, because if you are someone other then Jesus and you play it, then you are most likely to swallow your own head."

by Foof811 July 15, 2010

Jesus Spot

When you are driving around and you find that golden parking spot that is calling your name, as if Jesus were opening up the heavens to you in an 8'x16' space.

I was trying to find parking at the grocery store, and this jesus spot opened up right next to the entrance. I shouted to the heavens, "Sweet Jesus!" because I didn't have to go on an exodus across the parking lot to get my Depends for Men - my anus was ready to ignite!

by Two Awesome Persons February 25, 2011