When you need a lawyer fast but you only have £39 to your name and don't mind it coming from an anonymous source on the internet
by Pugwasher November 20, 2021
Get the cult stitch mug.Religious or Superstitious Beliefs centered around eating and dogmatically defended and militarily protected by their adherents. Often involves spreading competing Propaganda, on diet and nutrition, to win market share or converts.
Dietary Cults Illustrated
Example 1 - John: "I'm an intermittent fast-er"
Mary: "I believe in eating 6 small meals a day."
John: "You're an Apostate."
Mary: "You're Satan Incarnate."
Example 2 - Rick: "i'm a Vegan."
Belinda: "i'm on the Carnivore Diet."
Rick: "you're a Violent Person and Psychotic Predator, there is no reason to eat animals."
Belinda: "your the reason our species is weak and degenerating: no animal protein."
Dietary Jihad/Crusade/Mahabharat ensues
Belinda dies in a Vegan Protest where a Vegan leaves behind a banana peel for her to slip on. Traces of almond milk are found around her mouth the next day. Left as a message to would-be Carnivores. This is Portland.
Example 3 - Gulvinder (Hindu): "This is India we don't eat beef."
Mohammed (Muslim): "There are legal exemptions. I can sell beef to other countries."
Gulvinder: "You shouldn't be enabling the eating of bovine in a roundabout way." (subtext: warning)
Mohammed: "Well I have the right." (i.e. completely misses the warning due to arrogance and not understanding the situation he is in)
Mohammed gets lynched the next day. "The Right Nutrition saves Lives" - Random Ambitious Doctor
Example 1 - John: "I'm an intermittent fast-er"
Mary: "I believe in eating 6 small meals a day."
John: "You're an Apostate."
Mary: "You're Satan Incarnate."
Example 2 - Rick: "i'm a Vegan."
Belinda: "i'm on the Carnivore Diet."
Rick: "you're a Violent Person and Psychotic Predator, there is no reason to eat animals."
Belinda: "your the reason our species is weak and degenerating: no animal protein."
Dietary Jihad/Crusade/Mahabharat ensues
Belinda dies in a Vegan Protest where a Vegan leaves behind a banana peel for her to slip on. Traces of almond milk are found around her mouth the next day. Left as a message to would-be Carnivores. This is Portland.
Example 3 - Gulvinder (Hindu): "This is India we don't eat beef."
Mohammed (Muslim): "There are legal exemptions. I can sell beef to other countries."
Gulvinder: "You shouldn't be enabling the eating of bovine in a roundabout way." (subtext: warning)
Mohammed: "Well I have the right." (i.e. completely misses the warning due to arrogance and not understanding the situation he is in)
Mohammed gets lynched the next day. "The Right Nutrition saves Lives" - Random Ambitious Doctor
by LemmingEinstein September 5, 2021
Get the Dietary Cult mug.The Jesus Boob Cult is a place where fags share trauma and a love of phoebe Bridgers while drinking Jesus’s period blood and eating his boobs. The JBC is very selective of its members and will only allow the gayest of the fags and the gayest of the straights to participate in its rituals.
Person one: are you in the Jesus Boob Cult????
Person two: yes but I’m not supposed to tell anyone
Person one: WHAT how did you get accepted, I’ve been trying to get in for months!
Person two: yes but I’m not supposed to tell anyone
Person one: WHAT how did you get accepted, I’ve been trying to get in for months!
by JBC is life September 24, 2021
Get the Jesus Boob Cult mug.The group of Americans that are so afraid of COVID 19 that they refuse to take it seriously thereby condemning themselves to the slowest mass suicide in world history.
That Snowflake Death Cult member said they didn't trust the doctor when the doctor told them to get a vaccine, but they trusted the doctor just fine to stick a tube down their throat.
by anonymous September 26, 2021
Get the Snowflake Death Cult mug.Da 🐬da 🐬 da
A Tiktok cult known as The Soobin/Dolphin cult created as an inside joke by @jhopethepope (now @beomging) for moas (txt fans)
A Tiktok cult known as The Soobin/Dolphin cult created as an inside joke by @jhopethepope (now @beomging) for moas (txt fans)
by HxcEr September 29, 2021
Get the Soobin Cult mug.by E CULT October 16, 2021
Get the E Cult mug.Group fitness classes with charismatic and successful instructors exhibit features of cults. Converts are broken down and built back up as lean, mean exercise machines. They are instilled with group think and identity. “Welcome to the family! You’re in for a great work out. Becky is the best instructors out there. Did you see her abs?” is what the student most devoted to Dear Leader might say to a new recruit dragged there by her spouse.
“Cult Meat” is whatever the instructor is pushing on the side to her students in order to build her bankroll to afford her own studio someday and/or Lexus and plastic surgery payments. So, it might be special supplements or shake powders that are part of a multilevel marketing scam. That’s more common and transparent. But, Cult Meat is more covert. The instructor might push a low carb Keto Diet, which is protein and grass-fed meat heavy. And, she happens to invest in a co-op that will deliver a high quality product in exchange for your hard earned dollars. See! Nothing bad is happening here. It’s just a fitness instructor helping her students improve their nutrition. And, she also sells fun branded clothes now and is expanding into Cult Eggs. What’s happening is the instructor is a shrewd capitalist building a devoted and captive customer base who has lost the understanding they can just buy the same thing for less money from Whole Paycheck or any normal person grocery store.
“Cult Meat” is whatever the instructor is pushing on the side to her students in order to build her bankroll to afford her own studio someday and/or Lexus and plastic surgery payments. So, it might be special supplements or shake powders that are part of a multilevel marketing scam. That’s more common and transparent. But, Cult Meat is more covert. The instructor might push a low carb Keto Diet, which is protein and grass-fed meat heavy. And, she happens to invest in a co-op that will deliver a high quality product in exchange for your hard earned dollars. See! Nothing bad is happening here. It’s just a fitness instructor helping her students improve their nutrition. And, she also sells fun branded clothes now and is expanding into Cult Eggs. What’s happening is the instructor is a shrewd capitalist building a devoted and captive customer base who has lost the understanding they can just buy the same thing for less money from Whole Paycheck or any normal person grocery store.
“Honey, I’m super happy you’re going to this exercise class. But, when I went it was super culty and not for me. I just like jogging to the dog park through the woods and not a moonlighting Air Force officer shouting over the music in my ears. I’m concerned that we’re now buying products she’s selling to the class. While I like the steak you bought, it’s not in fact American Waygu Beef because that’s not a thing. It’s cult meat!”
by T1000inSpace July 18, 2021
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