Recieving a Handjob with a wet piece of sandpaper while under the influence of drugs or alcohol .If you notice what is happening and you are in pain, you know you've had a Corroded Johnson
by Nick. Hienz April 30, 2005
A well known Birmingham gang. Rivals of The Burger Bar Boys. Known for gun crime and being dangerous.
They were also involved in the new year murders of two girls (they died in a shootout between The Johnson Crew and The Burger Bar Boys).
They were also involved in the new year murders of two girls (they died in a shootout between The Johnson Crew and The Burger Bar Boys).
by T-Kay December 06, 2006
When asked a question (any question) to which one thinks you know the answer, the verb to "Johnson" is to waffle, procrastinate and create sufficient bluster so as to fool, create absolute confusion and go off on a tangent, leaving the questioning party stunned and bemused.
To hide your absolute incompetence, or unpreparedness, or lack of understanding/comprehension by spouting totally irrelevant bullshit, including latin or greek which nobody understands, as an answer to a valid and simple question. When said with the unsolicited self-confidence of an expensive Conservative-funded public school education, the "Johnson" answer can be pulled from the bag in absolutely any circumstance.
To hide your absolute incompetence, or unpreparedness, or lack of understanding/comprehension by spouting totally irrelevant bullshit, including latin or greek which nobody understands, as an answer to a valid and simple question. When said with the unsolicited self-confidence of an expensive Conservative-funded public school education, the "Johnson" answer can be pulled from the bag in absolutely any circumstance.
I asked Boris what he'd like for dinner last night, and i got such a "Johnson" answer, i couldn't remember my name and i'd lost 25 minutes of my life. I felt like i'd been hit by a fucking bus. I do vaguely remember him spouting some shit about the Bermuda Triangle and what happened to Michael Jackson. I won't be doing that again.
by dying_fish September 20, 2020
by Smelly Tired Nerd July 11, 2008
The act of inserting a cow's heart into a person's anal canal, after which point the recipient must achieve orgasm within 10 seconds, otherwise the inserter must rip the recipient's molars out with pliers.
Thinking ahead, Stephen grabbed the needle-nosed pliers from his father's tool shed on the way to the pasture, where he gave his girlfriend ellen a rather memorable Skippy Johnson.
A cow's heart in one hand, needle-nosed pliers in the other, Derek questioned whether tonight was the right night to give Shari her first Skippy Johnson, and whether she would make the 10-second cut.
A cow's heart in one hand, needle-nosed pliers in the other, Derek questioned whether tonight was the right night to give Shari her first Skippy Johnson, and whether she would make the 10-second cut.
by S.J. June 10, 2006
by i am a pseudonym April 05, 2010
A heather johnson generally loves long walks in the park, boys who are above 5 foot 7, and makes awesome almond cookies. She does not like it when her friends moan in her car (accidentally) or when her roommate talks in a baby voice to her boyfriend. She does like playing civil war, and pretty much kicks major ass at it (so don't even play, nigga'.) Heather's a highly dangerous, and should never be approached from behind. Ever. Naw'mean? A heather johnson has a best friend who talks about queefing, and that's all you should know. Oh, and she finds super cute cats at k-mart.
by thecoolestmofoeva November 28, 2010