blow the monkey

To bungle, screw up, fail miserably or screw the proverbial pooch.

I’ve given you three chances, and at every opportunity, you blow the monkey!

by RrrrasdfasdflRoroBinkins November 16, 2019

Monkey fucking a bowling ball

A manufactured problem, one that is easy to solve but not convient to the person responsible for manufacturing it. Normally it's a self solving problem, often created by management level decision makers, and would potentially negatively affect the person being asked for help in solving the problem. Artificial urgency is often imparted bu the bowling ball owner, along with the inability to self rescue & lack of understanding about the basic problem and their part in it.

A monkey would be done enjoying the bowling ball in time, without need or risk to the person trying to stop the monkey. It may attack, bite or otherwise retaliate if interrupted, but by waiting it will simply go away.

Mammals don't respond well to coitus interruptus, a bowling ball can be washed later with no risk to the person being asked for help.

A couple saw a cute bear in the park and stopped to feed it. The bear decided to finish eating their picnic basket, in the back seat. In a hurry to leave called the park rangers "Just wait a while, the bear will finish up and leave' the ranger suggested, and turning to their coworker says 'monkey fucking a bowling ball'

by anonymous November 15, 2025

crack monkeys

Those weird girls who watch anime and go to the bathroom with their phones at school. They eat hotcheetohs and smell like crap.

ay yo look at those crack monkeys over there. "uwu"

by yourmomhascracks March 2, 2020

monkey slide

A monkey slide means an old metal playground slide in piece of vintage playground equipment from years ago between the Early 1900s to the 1990s.

An old Metal Slide in an Old Playground is a monkey slide.

by Tominator 1401. May 5, 2018

Reeves-monkey

One who spends most of his time tossing off over his accord type-r, jacking off to the words "i-v-tech".

Those wonderful men and their flying machines at honda.

by OJB September 26, 2004

faction monkey

when a person a roblox the wild west sweat joins a big faction and grind notority and kills in manor wars, usually toxic and found in small servers, if found, exterminate.(small tutorial on how to exterminate: get a lasso, lasso them, if that doesnt work rob them, if they still havent left then rob grind them, free money xdddd)second definition:when people who play the wild west on roblox become toxic as fuck and dox and ruin people on discord, spreading lies and shit, starting drama, all of that shit

person 1: *gets paterson and proto quickswitched AND tbagged*
person1: WHAT THE FUCK VRO THIS GUY IS BEING TOXIC AND HE KILLED ME IN ONE SECOND
person2:thats a faction monkey bro, just rob him
person2:atleast if you can fucking reach him that is
factionsweat:EZ KID GET FUCKING FUCKED

by anonymous February 4, 2025

Sign-off monkey

A person who has a steady, reasonably-paid job that involves upholding standards who is happy to add their signature to any wrong or unethical thing that their employer asks them to sign off. Some examples might be a careless employees working as an Environmental Officer in a local government authority, a Social Worker in an under-staffed Department of Community Services or a Safety Officer at a mine site.

The last person in this position was just a sign-off monkey so for the first couple of months I was mostly sorting out problems.

by JiyaRe December 29, 2019