CHUCK NORRIS

Must be spelled with all capital letters in order to be correct, or you'll be roundhouse kicked through the fifth dimension.

While Jesus was the son of God, CHUCK NORRIS was the father of god.

Some facts include:

Jesus can walk on water, inpressive? CHUCK NORRIS can swim through earth.

CHUCK NORRIS is so straight, he never touched a single man in his life, whenever he gave a man a roundhouse kick, he was merely kicking the space in between his foot and his victim's face. (like in the movies, but all victims still died from massive head trauma.)

CHUCK NORRIS can divide by 0.

CHUCK NORRIS is watching...always.

CHUCK NORRIS's daily excercise routine includes wrestling bears, holding back airplanes with his bear hands, pushing trains, and lifting mountains with ease.

CHUCK NORRIS was born 10 March 1940, the Cold War ended 11 March 1940, just saying.

This concludes my definition of chuck norris. (A dimensional rift opens before me as the all mighty roundhouse kick of justice bends reality itself while almost making contact with my face. Don't forget to capitalize! )

by The Urban Dick January 21, 2011

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